Resting in Him (mom)

April 6th, 2010

It is two weeks since my surgery and I feel a little stronger every day. I was able to go to church Easter morning and it was so good to be in the house of the Lord. It is a reminder that my God conquered not just my sin, but death and that no matter what may happen to me, I will be with Him in eternity.

We are still in a holding pattern waiting for the oncologist to get back to us. He has been in the Philippians on a Mission trip so that is good.

I’ve had lots of time to sit and think as my body heals and regains its strength. I am constantly amazed at the complete peace that my Lord continues to surround me with every day and every moment. I know there are those out there who put their trust in the power of positive thinking – pulling yourself up by the boot straps – etc., but I can’t help but wonder how they do during those dark moments in the middle of the night when they are completely alone with nothing but their own thoughts. How do they deal with the doubts, the what ifs, the fears that are just a natural part of the human experience? I know that if I could not place myself in His arms as I am reminded that “He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” Zephaniah 3:17 I would not want to face the morning. It is in the dead of night that I can hear Him singing over me causing me to rest in complete peace. His song will chase away any fear or anxiety I may feel. Psalm 63:6-8 tells me “On my bed I remember You, I think of You through the watches of the night. Because You are my help, I sing in the shadows of Your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” To actually experience His great love for me, as I do today, makes me thankful that He has given me this time to fully understand His great love for me. When I was well I loved Him, but it was in my sickness that I truly have felt His presence and His great love for me. Would I want anyone else to go through what I am going through– no – but I will tell you that when you go through it with the Lord holding you by His right hand there is no greater blessing. So in many ways I feel as though I am one of the lucky ones who is being given the blessing of truly abiding with Him. Beth Moore makes a statement in her devotional that I like, “If nothing frightening ever happened, how could the assurance of God’s constant presence be the quieter of our fears?” As Psalm 119 says, “It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees.”

Love to you all
Janice