Mom-letter 1 and letter 2

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Last night I went to Celebrate Recovery and I really felt the Lord wanted me to talk to the participants about what was going on with my health. They had been hearing things and I wanted them to hear from me. I would like to share with you what I shared with them. You three are so important to me and I know I will need you to be with me in prayer and heart during this time.
Last Sunday, when I was leading my 12-step group we were talking about things that keep us from the Lord. I compared my walk with the Lord to my evolution as a house keeper. When I was young and single I was not a good house keeper, I pretty much cleaned or didn’t clean depending on what was going on in my life. My walk with the Lord at this time was pretty much the same. I believed in Him, but I tended to be pretty messy in my walk with Him. A prayer life was not there unless I was in crises about things like the Prom being three weeks away and I needed a date, will Jon call me back, important things.
After I married Kent I discovered that he liked things neat so I was a little better in the house keeping area. I would at least shove it somewhere so he couldn’t see it. My walk reflected this attitude, I went to church, I found I had a great love for His Word and I went to every Bible Study I could. I had a much closer relationship with Jesus in most areas of my life but I still held onto my junk room.
In the last couple of years I have learned to purge in my housekeeping. If I haven’t used it give it to someone who will, or throw it out. As a result Kent and I are both happier. The Lord has also been calling me to clean out my house for Him. He has been telling me “Janice, I am glad you know my Word, now I want you to know me, really know me in a intimate nature” Everything I have read or studied in this last couple of years has been focused on this thought. He has been teaching me that my relationship with Him is what is important, not my ministries, not my Bible study, only Him. I have found that it is not enough to just read the Word and then walk away, I have been writing down, what does this word say to me, what am I going to do with what He is telling me in this verse. Verse after verse is telling me that as I draw closer to Him- I must trust Him completely. Verses that tell me He’s a light unto my feet, that he holds me up, that He is holding my right hand, it has been amazing to me.
Yesterday I knew why. He has drawn me to Him so that together we will walk this path and I can fear no evil. When Dr. Kirshen said the word cancer there was no fear in me and today there is no fear in me, or in Kent. We know there will be tough times but never have either of us felt His presence so intensely. It may sound weird but I am a little excited about what this journey is going to bring. All I want is for it to bring Glory to my Lord. I don’t want pity, or tears, or whys, I just want everyone to see how great a God I serve. So keep praying for me and sit back ant watch the ride because it should be an exciting one.
I will keep you posted on all that is happening, so stay tuned for the next episode.
Love you more that you know, Janice

Day 2

I woke up this morning to another day not promised. It is so good to know that I don’t have to take care of today that this day too is in His hands. I just wanted to share with you what I read this morning as I did my devotionals. First I read my Jesus calling where he reminded me that though “I am feeling weighted down by a plethora of problems, both big and small, I must continue to be joyful in Him, my Savior. My first thought was forget those small problems, I am feeling the weight of the big ones. It was about 20 minutes later when Kent and I decided to go run some errands that I discovered I had left my purse somewhere. You can only imagine the prayers that I was sending up when we called the last place we had been yesterday. Yes, my purse was there and God, in His own sense of humor, reminded me that I am not to get so caught up in the big thing that I lose sight of him in the little things. Then as Kent mentioned, the Daily Bread had James 1 in which we are told to “Count it al joy when you face trials of many kinds” The world would tell me this was crazy and if I was to do this in my own power they would be right, but I do joy in the fact that I do not go through these trials alone, I am being carried in the very arms of the Creator God. Twice in the last week I have been given verses in which I am told that he holds me by His right hand. How can I feel less than joyful?
Kent and I are truly blessed by the number of people who have called, are praying for us, or have just stopped to give us a hug – it is a reminder of how big my God is – we have people praying for us from all parts of the United States all the way to China. I love you all.