CHEMO 3 May 24, 2010 MOM

I have put off writing until I had my scheduled chem. treatment today so I could update everyone on what is happening. My white blood count is still low so I will skip this treatment and do 10 days of shots to boost my bone marrow.

As I sit to write I can’t help but think of the verse I have chosen for this time and wonder how all I am going through fits with it. I Thessalonians 4:6 tells me to “Be joyful always” and I am joyful. I am joyful when my 6 year old granddaughter, Hannah, calls her grandma just to check on her, I am joyful when my 12 year old grandson, Josiah, sends me a card to tell me his entire Sunday School Class is praying for me and then gives me verse to hang on to, I am joyful when my 15 year old grandson, Jesse, texts me to tell me he is wearing the scarf I gave him for Christmas and it reminds him to pray for me and that he loves me; I am joyful that my three daughters and husband are there in some way everyday; I am joyful for my three sisters who call to give me their strength and love; I am joyful for friends from the past (Stones, Nancy, Heidi, &Christi Little) who have me in their prayers; I am joyful for friends who are constantly aware of my every need; and I am joyful for a church family that has surrounded, uplifted, and encouraged me by prayer, cards, and hugs.

I Thessalonians 4:17 tells me to pray continually and believe me I do. The Lord and I have spent more than a few hours conversing about my cancer. I thank Him for His presence, I question His wisdom; I cry out my frustrations, but I always come back to the great peace He has given me throughout this time. God doesn’t make mistakes so I will trust Him again and again.

I Thessalonians 4:18 tells me “give thanks in all circumstances” and I will be the first to admit that I am not always obedient to this verse. I want to know what He is teaching me and I want to know it yesterday. I want to know why He would choose someone as weak as me to proclaim His love even when fighting nausea; I want to know if my cancer will be used for His glory because this is my greatest prayer. I know my God is a God of perfect will who will reveal to me His glory in His time. I pray for patience as I give Him thanks for sustaining me for another week.

God may not react like I would have Him but He will always be true to the words in His Book and in them I can put my complete and total trust. So keep praying for me and I will keep trusting Him.
In Him,
Janice.