A HARD DAY 05/25/2010 Dad

I have told people when they are struggling that it helps to write about it. So, here I am. It’s getting tougher. Yesterday, Janice was unable to take her treatment because her white blood cells and something called “Neutrophils” have dropped through the floor. Those are the things that fight off infection, so it’s not good when that happens. They are giving her shots to make the bone marrow produce more of those little critters. They told us that it would make her fatigued, and watch out for high temperatures. Say what? We’re going to make a lady who has trouble having enough energy to walk across the floor, more fatigued? But they did, and it worked well. She spent all day on the couch until she went to bed at 6:00 PM. Also, her temp shot up to 101 deg. Praise the Lord, it did come back down. It seems like every side effect to chemo written in the book is manifesting itself in her body. Good thing she never became a dope head. The first hit probably would have been an OD. Tomorrow, we go back in for an evaluation; whatever that means. Hopefully, it means we will change some directions and make this a bit more doable. I know she can’t go another five months on the current path.

I guess I never thought it would be this hard. We were told this is not as tough a chemo regime as others. But I don’t think they took into consideration her body reaction to chemicals of any sort. I just hate watching her go through this, and I keep thinking of friends who have been through even worse. So, bear with us as we fight the battle, and keep praying. If there is anything to be learned from this perhaps it’s the lesson the Apostle Paul had to learn when he kept asking God to take away his “thorn in the flesh”, whatever that was. God said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor 12:9) I don’t believe I have ever felt more helpless than I do right now, but this too will pass. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though the outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Cor 4:16-18) I have that labeled in my Bible as “Helen’s verse”, after a courageous lady who influenced me greatly in the battle of cancer.
So, thanks for your prayers and thoughts. Pray that God will forgive my lack of faith and keep praying that He will use this to His benefit. I know He will.
Kent