2-28-20010
In church this morning, I was talking to a friend about what God does for each of us when we pray for His complete presence in our lives. He was relating how he had been praying that he could love his wife with complete and total love such as he had never experienced. A week later his wife of 23 years found herself in the emergency room with a heart rate that was almost off the charts. To prevent her death they actually stopped her heart so they could regulate the rhythm back to normal. He said as he watched her heart flat line on the monitor he was filled with the overwhelming realization that he already did love her this much, he just didn’t realize it. For me, this is how the Lord has been dealing with me, not just in my love for Him but my love for my husband.
On Thursday the news was good, but in my heart I know the Lord is not done just yet. I am now on the path up my mountain, but I have not reached the top. As I have prayed to my Lord to bring me closer to Him these last couple years, I never thought that cancer was the vehicle he would chose to do the job. But I can praise him for it because I cannot imagine not experiencing His love as I have for this last week. He has shown me that Jesus is not just a comforter or a sympathizer, but He is the Almighty God, in Him I will trust. My greatest joy this week has been to sit quietly in my chair, with my little dog, and just spend time in the Word. I have been shown some of the greatest truths given to man. On Thursday, I flipped open my journal and this is the verse that I had written just a few days before, “But my eyes are fixed on you O Sovereign Lord, in you I take refuge – do not give me over to death”. Death has lost its sting but I am honest enough to know I’m not quite ready. I told someone the other day that I was scheduled to go to China again in August. The great thing is, I may make it yet. But I will go with a new set of eyes, eyes that see my Lord in a whole new realm. Colossians 2:6-7 tells me, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”
Thankful I am – for my Lord, for my husband, for my beautiful children (which includes two of the greatest sons-in-law, Mike and Jerrel) and grandchildren, for my church, and for all those who have been praying for me so faithfully. I covet your prayers still and I pray that you will continue to walk with me during this time. I may not know some of you well, but I say with all my heart, I love and cherish each and every one of you. Janice
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Our Living God (Dad)
03/01/2010
I have been thinking about something since Friday morning, after the good news on Thursday, that may be the hardest concept yet to put into words that are understandable. I feel somewhat unqualified to express what I’m thinking because it is not my body the cancer is in. But Scripture says that man and wife are “one flesh” (Gen 3:24). I will not physically feel the pain, but what happens to Janice happens to me. I would truly rather it be me, but we weren’t given that choice. If you are a follower of Jesus the Christ, and if you have gone through some very difficult and emotional times, you probably already know the concept that God does His best in adversity, and the more extreme the adversity, the more His presence is known. I have read it in Scripture and books and heard it expressed in sermons. But three weeks ago I could not have understood. When we were left wondering what the doctor would say about the severity of the cancer, we had never felt the presence of the Living God the way we did then. The day after the good news, something left me. It wasn’t Him that left; it was me. I walked away from all that dependence I had in Him and started feeling that things were kind of in control again. The intensity of the crisis wasn’t there as much and the intensity of my dependence in Him had diminished. I really don’t want that to happen. Knowing that we still have a long battle ahead, I hesitated to tell Janice how I was feeling, especially since it’s her that has to go through the pain. But what do you know? She was feeling the same thing. It’s not that we need God any less, or that we don’t intellectually understand our complete dependence upon God’s grace for our next breath; it’s just the intensity that was lost. This morning I talked to a friend who has been through a long battle with breast cancer. She knew exactly what I was talking about and said she felt the same thing after recovery. You pray for, and praise God for recovery, but you really lose something when it happens. Then she said something I liked; “I think what we feel of God when we are in the midst of the storm is a bit of what heaven is really like.” Yeah… that’s it. It is something we can only feel when we are totally submersed in Christ; and facing death will do that. When we realize we’re going to live a bit longer, it backs off. He doesn’t back off; we do. My prayer now is not only for successful surgery and a completely cancer free body, but that I will never forget how close God is when we allow Him to be. One last thing; I have always thought, and always heard, that a diagnosis of cancer would be a fearful thing. It was. But after the past two weeks of seeing how the Lord uses it, I will never again dread that word. Thanks again to all of you who are praying and keeping up with us. You are an intricate part of the battle. Keep up the good work.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9 rks
I have been thinking about something since Friday morning, after the good news on Thursday, that may be the hardest concept yet to put into words that are understandable. I feel somewhat unqualified to express what I’m thinking because it is not my body the cancer is in. But Scripture says that man and wife are “one flesh” (Gen 3:24). I will not physically feel the pain, but what happens to Janice happens to me. I would truly rather it be me, but we weren’t given that choice. If you are a follower of Jesus the Christ, and if you have gone through some very difficult and emotional times, you probably already know the concept that God does His best in adversity, and the more extreme the adversity, the more His presence is known. I have read it in Scripture and books and heard it expressed in sermons. But three weeks ago I could not have understood. When we were left wondering what the doctor would say about the severity of the cancer, we had never felt the presence of the Living God the way we did then. The day after the good news, something left me. It wasn’t Him that left; it was me. I walked away from all that dependence I had in Him and started feeling that things were kind of in control again. The intensity of the crisis wasn’t there as much and the intensity of my dependence in Him had diminished. I really don’t want that to happen. Knowing that we still have a long battle ahead, I hesitated to tell Janice how I was feeling, especially since it’s her that has to go through the pain. But what do you know? She was feeling the same thing. It’s not that we need God any less, or that we don’t intellectually understand our complete dependence upon God’s grace for our next breath; it’s just the intensity that was lost. This morning I talked to a friend who has been through a long battle with breast cancer. She knew exactly what I was talking about and said she felt the same thing after recovery. You pray for, and praise God for recovery, but you really lose something when it happens. Then she said something I liked; “I think what we feel of God when we are in the midst of the storm is a bit of what heaven is really like.” Yeah… that’s it. It is something we can only feel when we are totally submersed in Christ; and facing death will do that. When we realize we’re going to live a bit longer, it backs off. He doesn’t back off; we do. My prayer now is not only for successful surgery and a completely cancer free body, but that I will never forget how close God is when we allow Him to be. One last thing; I have always thought, and always heard, that a diagnosis of cancer would be a fearful thing. It was. But after the past two weeks of seeing how the Lord uses it, I will never again dread that word. Thanks again to all of you who are praying and keeping up with us. You are an intricate part of the battle. Keep up the good work.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor 12:9 rks
Friday, February 26, 2010
Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow
I love how the Lord works. The very same verse that He used to calm my mom yesterday and encourage her with, is the same verse that He has continued to give me during this process. Talk about "being of One mind". I woke up yesterday praying for Mom and Dad, knowing that it could be a long day. I was sure that I had fear and dread licked, when about 4:00 pm it reared it's ugly head. The only thing I could do was get down on my knees and rebuke the enemy, because fear is not of the Lord. God, in his mercy, gave me peace and assurance while I prayed. Isn't it incredible to know that the God we serve can immediately bring assurance to us when we need it the most! My phone finally rang at 6:00 and Deb shared that the news was as good as it could get when cancer is involved. I will let you read my parents posts below to hear all about the results and the great things that God has done.
To God be the Glory, Great Things He has done. We know this road will be bumpy at times, but we praise Him for the small victories He gives us.
Lisa
To God be the Glory, Great Things He has done. We know this road will be bumpy at times, but we praise Him for the small victories He gives us.
Lisa
Results (dad)
02/25/2010
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jer 29:11
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
And whose hope is in the Lord.” Jer 17:7
If you’ve read Janice’s blog you know the news today was as good as we can expect at this point. The biopsy did confirm cancer, but we already knew that, but the CAT scan showed no masses in the abdomen and the blood tests were negative for cancer markers. That is a huge praise because it means it is not Stage 4. It was a long day waiting for the news. I spent the first part of the day playing golf. The game was as bad as it ever is, but at least I had something to blame it on this morning. You just can’t shoot in the 80’s if your wife has cancer. When I got home Janice had recovered from her little attack of the Enemy and was feeling much better. The Lord certainly does a much better job taking care of her than I do. As the afternoon progressed, the apprehension grew; no fear, but apprehension. What would he say… what did the test show… how would we handle it if the news was bad? When the time came we prayed and headed to the doctor. Debra, our daughter, met us there. And, of course, there was a wait in the doctor’s office. By the time he walked through the door of the examining room, Debra and I were working off a lot of nervous energy, but Janice was kicked back reading a chart about constipation, or something. It must be a pleasure for a doctor to be able to give good news. He said he was pleased. That’s doctor talk for “COOL!!” It was certainly a pleasure for us. We celebrated by going to Baja Fresh for a Chicken Baja Burrito. How wild is that?
Next step is an appointment with the surgeon on March 4. Eventually, the surgery will determine whether there has been any spread outside the colon to the limp nodes, and whether or not there will be further treatment after surgery. It’s not over. There will still be some bad days. There is still a lot of prayer to go, and there is still a lot that God is going to teach us through this. (Judy A., I think He recognized that voice.) But today is over. And it was a good day. Thank you all for sharing it with us. Ya’ll are awesome, and God is amazing.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its trouble.” Matt. 6:34”
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jer 29:11
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
And whose hope is in the Lord.” Jer 17:7
If you’ve read Janice’s blog you know the news today was as good as we can expect at this point. The biopsy did confirm cancer, but we already knew that, but the CAT scan showed no masses in the abdomen and the blood tests were negative for cancer markers. That is a huge praise because it means it is not Stage 4. It was a long day waiting for the news. I spent the first part of the day playing golf. The game was as bad as it ever is, but at least I had something to blame it on this morning. You just can’t shoot in the 80’s if your wife has cancer. When I got home Janice had recovered from her little attack of the Enemy and was feeling much better. The Lord certainly does a much better job taking care of her than I do. As the afternoon progressed, the apprehension grew; no fear, but apprehension. What would he say… what did the test show… how would we handle it if the news was bad? When the time came we prayed and headed to the doctor. Debra, our daughter, met us there. And, of course, there was a wait in the doctor’s office. By the time he walked through the door of the examining room, Debra and I were working off a lot of nervous energy, but Janice was kicked back reading a chart about constipation, or something. It must be a pleasure for a doctor to be able to give good news. He said he was pleased. That’s doctor talk for “COOL!!” It was certainly a pleasure for us. We celebrated by going to Baja Fresh for a Chicken Baja Burrito. How wild is that?
Next step is an appointment with the surgeon on March 4. Eventually, the surgery will determine whether there has been any spread outside the colon to the limp nodes, and whether or not there will be further treatment after surgery. It’s not over. There will still be some bad days. There is still a lot of prayer to go, and there is still a lot that God is going to teach us through this. (Judy A., I think He recognized that voice.) But today is over. And it was a good day. Thank you all for sharing it with us. Ya’ll are awesome, and God is amazing.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its trouble.” Matt. 6:34”
Results
February 25, 20010
I woke up this morning to an empty house. Kent had gone to play golf and it was just me and Lupe dog. It was the first time I really felt Satan trying to get to me with his negative thoughts. So I did what I know works, I sat down with a cup of coffee, my little dog, and the Word. The first thing I read was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” These little verses were what I needed to bring me back to the safe shelter of my Lord. In the last week I have clung to the words from Psalm 18: 2 which is “the Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliver; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
Today we went in for the results of all the tests that I have had this past week. My God is so gracious. As far as they can tell from the CAT scan the cancer has not gone beyond the colon. They will have to biopsy the lymph nodes when they do my surgery to tell for absolute but there is no sign of cancer in the other organs. The blood work also showed no markers for cancer so it is not in my blood stream. This is as good as the news can be today. Now we will move forward with surgery and all that entails. This does not mean any of you can stop praying. I know how great my God is, but I also know that “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” James 5:16.
So today the news was as good as it can be for today and I go back to Psalm 18:6 and read “In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.” We will continue to trust in His love and we will continue to keep you posted as we move forward in our journey. Janice
I woke up this morning to an empty house. Kent had gone to play golf and it was just me and Lupe dog. It was the first time I really felt Satan trying to get to me with his negative thoughts. So I did what I know works, I sat down with a cup of coffee, my little dog, and the Word. The first thing I read was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” These little verses were what I needed to bring me back to the safe shelter of my Lord. In the last week I have clung to the words from Psalm 18: 2 which is “the Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliver; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
Today we went in for the results of all the tests that I have had this past week. My God is so gracious. As far as they can tell from the CAT scan the cancer has not gone beyond the colon. They will have to biopsy the lymph nodes when they do my surgery to tell for absolute but there is no sign of cancer in the other organs. The blood work also showed no markers for cancer so it is not in my blood stream. This is as good as the news can be today. Now we will move forward with surgery and all that entails. This does not mean any of you can stop praying. I know how great my God is, but I also know that “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” James 5:16.
So today the news was as good as it can be for today and I go back to Psalm 18:6 and read “In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.” We will continue to trust in His love and we will continue to keep you posted as we move forward in our journey. Janice
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Peace in the storm
I was meeting with a friend today and we were talking about my mom. She asked me if I was scared. I stopped for a moment to think about it and realized that there was no fear in my heart. It actually took my by surprise because most people would be fearful when their mom has just been diagnosed with cancer. I had to tell her that I wasn't and then she asked me why not. The only answer I could come up with was that the Lord has cast out fear. Scripture says that "Perfect Love casts out all fear" (I John 4:18)and that is what the Lord has done for me. I also know that fear is not of God. My dad has touched on the things the enemy can throw our way when trials arise. I have been praying that as I stand alongside of my parents in the storm that we will know none of those things, only a perfect peace amid the storm. Tomorrow is another day, and I know that each of us will have to be on our knees asking the Lord for peace as mom goes in for the results as to the extent of the cancer. I will "trust in the Lord with all my heart" and I will praise Him in all things. I praise the Lord today for peace and I pray that you too, will know perfect peace that comes from above.
I leave you with this verse, which was one that I memorized as a little girl. II Timothy 4:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love and of sound mind". We must not fear in the storm, but trust.
Lisa
I leave you with this verse, which was one that I memorized as a little girl. II Timothy 4:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love and of sound mind". We must not fear in the storm, but trust.
Lisa
Christ, the linebacker
02/24/2010
Today is one week past the diagnosis. It has been amazing to watch God use Janice to honor Him and speak to people who didn’t much listen before. Tomorrow at 4:45 PM PST, is the appointment that should more clearly define the extent of the cancer. Janice and I talked yesterday morning that both of us are fighting off apprehension and anxiety with a touch of dread, about that appointment. She mentioned in her blog yesterday about the heart issues twelve years ago that lead to by-pass surgery. Every time she did a test, we would expect some good news; but it never came. I believe the enemy is trying to use that experience to his advantage, saying, “There was no good news then, and there won’t be now.” But Janice pointed out there was, in fact, very good news. Her heart surgery was more successful than her cardiologist ever expected. There was no heart damage and she has had no further problems for more than twelve years now. There is all kinds of hope in this case as well, no matter what we hear tomorrow. Most of all, there is what the Lord is doing in our lives and the lives of so many people around us. Our prayer for tomorrow is for some good news, but Janice’s greatest desire, and mine too, is that she will be used to show the power of the love of Christ. “…we do not look to the things which are seen, but at the things that are not seen. For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things that are not seen are eternal.” II Cor. 4:18
You know those commercials that have some big football coming from nowhere and demolishing some little old lady, like the Betty White or Tim Tebow Superbowl spots? I visualize that as what happens to the three enemies, Fear, Discouragement and Depression, try to come out from behind that tree where they are hiding; Christ, the huge, powerful linebacker whose number is 01 (Rev 1:8) meets them at mid-field and just knocks the snot out of them. God is great, and I hope you believe that.
rks
Today is one week past the diagnosis. It has been amazing to watch God use Janice to honor Him and speak to people who didn’t much listen before. Tomorrow at 4:45 PM PST, is the appointment that should more clearly define the extent of the cancer. Janice and I talked yesterday morning that both of us are fighting off apprehension and anxiety with a touch of dread, about that appointment. She mentioned in her blog yesterday about the heart issues twelve years ago that lead to by-pass surgery. Every time she did a test, we would expect some good news; but it never came. I believe the enemy is trying to use that experience to his advantage, saying, “There was no good news then, and there won’t be now.” But Janice pointed out there was, in fact, very good news. Her heart surgery was more successful than her cardiologist ever expected. There was no heart damage and she has had no further problems for more than twelve years now. There is all kinds of hope in this case as well, no matter what we hear tomorrow. Most of all, there is what the Lord is doing in our lives and the lives of so many people around us. Our prayer for tomorrow is for some good news, but Janice’s greatest desire, and mine too, is that she will be used to show the power of the love of Christ. “…we do not look to the things which are seen, but at the things that are not seen. For the things that are seen are temporary, but the things that are not seen are eternal.” II Cor. 4:18
You know those commercials that have some big football coming from nowhere and demolishing some little old lady, like the Betty White or Tim Tebow Superbowl spots? I visualize that as what happens to the three enemies, Fear, Discouragement and Depression, try to come out from behind that tree where they are hiding; Christ, the huge, powerful linebacker whose number is 01 (Rev 1:8) meets them at mid-field and just knocks the snot out of them. God is great, and I hope you believe that.
rks
The Box (Mom)
Dec. 24th, 2010
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your eyes: fear the Lord and shun evil.” Proverbs 3:5-7
Yesterday I shared by thoughts about why I felt Kent and I were flirting with fear about Thursday’s test results. Today I went to my ladies Bible Study and God once again told me how it is – I do tend to be a little dense sometimes. We are studying how the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years and how God puts us in our wilderness times. At the start of this study I told the ladies that it was hard for me to answer all the questions because I was not in the wilderness so my God said, “O.K. Janice, here, I’ll walk you through this wilderness.” Anyway, the leader was talking about how we put God in a box. The box we have contains all we have heard, studied, or experienced about God, and so when something happens we go to our box and say this is what God will do. I feel this message was just for me because I had taken a past experience and put it in the box and said this is how God is going to handle this experience too. Talk about a wake-up call. My God does not live in my box, He is all around my box, He uses my box to help me grow, but my box is not something that confines Him. It was a good lesson. I am constantly amazed at how my God continues to speak to me during this time. He gently but firmly reminds me that He is control of all of it – there is nothing I can do in my own power even if I wanted to. So thank you again for your prayers. I am amazed at the goodness of His people. As I sat in church this morning I felt the words of Psalm 52:8 come to life for me: “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God. I trust in God’s unfailing love forever and ever.” Janice
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your eyes: fear the Lord and shun evil.” Proverbs 3:5-7
Yesterday I shared by thoughts about why I felt Kent and I were flirting with fear about Thursday’s test results. Today I went to my ladies Bible Study and God once again told me how it is – I do tend to be a little dense sometimes. We are studying how the Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years and how God puts us in our wilderness times. At the start of this study I told the ladies that it was hard for me to answer all the questions because I was not in the wilderness so my God said, “O.K. Janice, here, I’ll walk you through this wilderness.” Anyway, the leader was talking about how we put God in a box. The box we have contains all we have heard, studied, or experienced about God, and so when something happens we go to our box and say this is what God will do. I feel this message was just for me because I had taken a past experience and put it in the box and said this is how God is going to handle this experience too. Talk about a wake-up call. My God does not live in my box, He is all around my box, He uses my box to help me grow, but my box is not something that confines Him. It was a good lesson. I am constantly amazed at how my God continues to speak to me during this time. He gently but firmly reminds me that He is control of all of it – there is nothing I can do in my own power even if I wanted to. So thank you again for your prayers. I am amazed at the goodness of His people. As I sat in church this morning I felt the words of Psalm 52:8 come to life for me: “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God. I trust in God’s unfailing love forever and ever.” Janice
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Faith
As I read through the past two days of letters that my parents have sent me I realize now, more than ever, the legacy of faith that they have given me and my sisters. It takes difficult times in our lives to realize how much we really need the Lord. I have always known that my parents faith is important to them and they have lived that faith out well before us and the world, but it wasn't until this past week when I realized the depth of their dependence on the Lord. I read their posts and see the amazing testimony of dependence on Christ. My prayer throughout this journey with my mom will be that God gets the glory in all circumstances, whether it's waiting on test results or waiting in a room for a surgery to be complete. God is in this and that is absolutely apparent in the way that God has continued to be the constant support for mom and dad through this. We may never know this side of glory why the Lord allows for difficult situations to arise, but we do know that we have a God who is faithful. We cling to that during our time of waiting.
Continue to pray for mom and dad as they await test results and then come up with a "game plan" for the battle that lay ahead. We have felt the prayers of many and know that many of you are storming the gates on behalf of our family. We are grateful.
Lisa
Continue to pray for mom and dad as they await test results and then come up with a "game plan" for the battle that lay ahead. We have felt the prayers of many and know that many of you are storming the gates on behalf of our family. We are grateful.
Lisa
Dad Letter 4
12/23/2010
Thursday is coming. That is the day that we find out more about how extensive the cancer is; what stage, etc. It is really difficult to keep those enemies from coming out and working their evil. Fear, Depression, and their friend, Discouragement; they seize every opportunity to lay into you and bring you down in flames. Our experience with heart problems years ago is a contributing factor, but you’ll have to read Janice’s blog for that explanation. Both of us are affected by this, and both of us are fighting it with the promise that He is in us, with us and goes before us (Matt. 28:20b). I heard a comment today that we are taught to pray, and we perform prayer because we are told to, but the only way we can learn to pray in earnest is to be in crisis. I am learning how true that is. Scripture actually tells us to count it a blessing to suffer trials (Jms 1:2). That is a difficult concept and I never wanted to test it. But we are finding just how true God is. It can’t be taught; it has to be experienced. If you are praying for us, pray for Thursday at 4:45 PM PST. Pray for good news; but more importantly, pray for continued trust in our Lord and God, Jesus Christ.
“We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair…… that the life of Jesus also may be manifest in our body.” 2 Cor. 4:8-10
rks
Thursday is coming. That is the day that we find out more about how extensive the cancer is; what stage, etc. It is really difficult to keep those enemies from coming out and working their evil. Fear, Depression, and their friend, Discouragement; they seize every opportunity to lay into you and bring you down in flames. Our experience with heart problems years ago is a contributing factor, but you’ll have to read Janice’s blog for that explanation. Both of us are affected by this, and both of us are fighting it with the promise that He is in us, with us and goes before us (Matt. 28:20b). I heard a comment today that we are taught to pray, and we perform prayer because we are told to, but the only way we can learn to pray in earnest is to be in crisis. I am learning how true that is. Scripture actually tells us to count it a blessing to suffer trials (Jms 1:2). That is a difficult concept and I never wanted to test it. But we are finding just how true God is. It can’t be taught; it has to be experienced. If you are praying for us, pray for Thursday at 4:45 PM PST. Pray for good news; but more importantly, pray for continued trust in our Lord and God, Jesus Christ.
“We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair…… that the life of Jesus also may be manifest in our body.” 2 Cor. 4:8-10
rks
Mom letter 4
Life happens – 4
02/23/2010
As much as we hate any type of discomfort or diversity in our lives, I am finding that it is these moments that are defining my relationship with my God. It is when I walk through the valleys that I come face to face with my total reliance on my Savior. I am at that point that I can, like Paul, thank him for what is going on in my body because it brings me into His presence in a way that is not sought when I am feeling on top of the world. To go through this life and never feel the absolute presence of God would be such a tragedy. As we approach Thursday and all the test results, I have to keep this thought in my mind. I am the first to admit that there is fear just lurking around the corners of my mind and as I prayed and wondered why such fear over test results, I found myself going back 12 years ago. Those who know me well, know that it was then I had a 4-way bypass. It was a time when I knew my body was trying to tell me all was not right and so Kent and I started the journey to find out what was going on, much like this journey. As we went through each step and test we were sure God was going to bring good news and the problem would be simply solved. But it wasn’t, and each test took us to another test until we finally reached that place where we were told I had to have open heart surgery. At the time we wondered how our God could allow this, but looking from this side of the journey I see He had giving me the very best solution. I don’t have to worry about stints failing or needing more angioplasty because it was all taken care of in one afternoon. But the going from test to test was a fearful time and I feel I am letting that memory cloud what is happening to me today. I fear that it will be bad news on bad news, and yet I know what my God did for me and what He will do for me today. I have to rebuke Satan and all his tricks and remember that my God is bigger than my fears, that He will take me down the path that is right for me today. I ask each of you to pray for Kent and I over the next couple of days because I know Satan is going to try and do a number on us. We know we are totally covered by the blood of our Savior, but we also recognize the force of a believer’s prayer. Thank you all for praying and listening to our sometimes ramblings during this journey. We have a great God and He will be glorified through this, of that I have no doubts. Janice
02/23/2010
As much as we hate any type of discomfort or diversity in our lives, I am finding that it is these moments that are defining my relationship with my God. It is when I walk through the valleys that I come face to face with my total reliance on my Savior. I am at that point that I can, like Paul, thank him for what is going on in my body because it brings me into His presence in a way that is not sought when I am feeling on top of the world. To go through this life and never feel the absolute presence of God would be such a tragedy. As we approach Thursday and all the test results, I have to keep this thought in my mind. I am the first to admit that there is fear just lurking around the corners of my mind and as I prayed and wondered why such fear over test results, I found myself going back 12 years ago. Those who know me well, know that it was then I had a 4-way bypass. It was a time when I knew my body was trying to tell me all was not right and so Kent and I started the journey to find out what was going on, much like this journey. As we went through each step and test we were sure God was going to bring good news and the problem would be simply solved. But it wasn’t, and each test took us to another test until we finally reached that place where we were told I had to have open heart surgery. At the time we wondered how our God could allow this, but looking from this side of the journey I see He had giving me the very best solution. I don’t have to worry about stints failing or needing more angioplasty because it was all taken care of in one afternoon. But the going from test to test was a fearful time and I feel I am letting that memory cloud what is happening to me today. I fear that it will be bad news on bad news, and yet I know what my God did for me and what He will do for me today. I have to rebuke Satan and all his tricks and remember that my God is bigger than my fears, that He will take me down the path that is right for me today. I ask each of you to pray for Kent and I over the next couple of days because I know Satan is going to try and do a number on us. We know we are totally covered by the blood of our Savior, but we also recognize the force of a believer’s prayer. Thank you all for praying and listening to our sometimes ramblings during this journey. We have a great God and He will be glorified through this, of that I have no doubts. Janice
Monday, February 22, 2010
Dad--Letter 1 and 2
Yesterday, 02/17/2010, my beautiful wife of many, many years, was diagnosed with colon cancer. Like all of us whom God has blessed with good health for so long, I never thought I’d hear the dreaded “c” word pertain to me or someone in my immediate family. It was a bit like being kicked in the stomach by a bull. It is almost surreal and you just want to wake up to a normal day and go play a normal sorry game of golf. But it’s there, and it’s real, and it’s inescapable.
The ride home was difficult, to say the least. I think it’s the only time we both had a hard time choking the tears back and it was difficult to talk about. But talk we did. The diagnosis was not totally unexpected, and we had both prayed that the Lord would keep us from fear if the news was bad. He honored that prayer. Though there was shock, there was no fear or dread. By the time we got home we were getting our emotions back in order and already getting phone calls from friends who were already praying for us. We talked to each other, talked to God and talked to friends, and , believe it or not, we were feeling good and excited to go to our Celebrate Recovery (a Scriptural based recovery program for hurts, habits & hang up that we are ministry leads) meeting and share with them. I’ve attached the message she sent to her sisters this morning which is almost word for word the message she shared last night. All I can say is that I have an awesome wife who has an awesome God.
This morning, I can honestly say that we are doing great. We both slept well last night and woke up feeling blessed, optimistic, and ready for the journey …… wherever it leads. This is not the power of positive thinking. We both realize there will be tough days ahead at best and that the outcome may not be what we hope and pray for. But we have two prayers besides healing ….. that the Lord will keep us from the greatest enemy, fear; and most of all that Jesus Christ will be honored as we go through this.
Yesterday morning, before we went to the procedure, I did my morning devotion in a little thing called, Dailey Bread. The scripture was from Isaiah 43. Verses 1 & 2 kept sticking out at me, but I did not want to hear it. I wanted more to hear something like Isa 53:5b, “…by His stripes we are healed.” But after the diagnosis, these verses have become my life verses.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are mine. (emphasis mine)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned…”
That was written to Israel, but it’s meant for us as well. As we take the journey through the rising waters and the fire, these are great promises. Jesus Christ is our strength, and He will be with us through this… no matter how it turns out. He knows us and calls us by our name. Why be afraid?
rks
02/19/2010
This is the second full day after the diagnosis. The Lord has been very gracious with encouragement, both from Himself and from friends, even from Beijing. But the two enemies, discouragement and fear, are lurking out there. It’s like they’re hiding behind a tree, patiently waiting their opportunity to pounce. I see their evil heads poking out occasionally. But as long as they see Jesus, not only beside me, but in me; they know they have no power. The Daily Bread for this morning was James 1:1-11. “…count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” That’s a verse I’ve read hundreds of times, even memorized; but it has new meaning this morning. I guess that’s what is meant by “the living Word”. In the devotion, Bill Crowder said, “…Life’s most profound lesions cannot be observed, they must be experienced.” We have an amazing God.
rks
The ride home was difficult, to say the least. I think it’s the only time we both had a hard time choking the tears back and it was difficult to talk about. But talk we did. The diagnosis was not totally unexpected, and we had both prayed that the Lord would keep us from fear if the news was bad. He honored that prayer. Though there was shock, there was no fear or dread. By the time we got home we were getting our emotions back in order and already getting phone calls from friends who were already praying for us. We talked to each other, talked to God and talked to friends, and , believe it or not, we were feeling good and excited to go to our Celebrate Recovery (a Scriptural based recovery program for hurts, habits & hang up that we are ministry leads) meeting and share with them. I’ve attached the message she sent to her sisters this morning which is almost word for word the message she shared last night. All I can say is that I have an awesome wife who has an awesome God.
This morning, I can honestly say that we are doing great. We both slept well last night and woke up feeling blessed, optimistic, and ready for the journey …… wherever it leads. This is not the power of positive thinking. We both realize there will be tough days ahead at best and that the outcome may not be what we hope and pray for. But we have two prayers besides healing ….. that the Lord will keep us from the greatest enemy, fear; and most of all that Jesus Christ will be honored as we go through this.
Yesterday morning, before we went to the procedure, I did my morning devotion in a little thing called, Dailey Bread. The scripture was from Isaiah 43. Verses 1 & 2 kept sticking out at me, but I did not want to hear it. I wanted more to hear something like Isa 53:5b, “…by His stripes we are healed.” But after the diagnosis, these verses have become my life verses.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are mine. (emphasis mine)
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned…”
That was written to Israel, but it’s meant for us as well. As we take the journey through the rising waters and the fire, these are great promises. Jesus Christ is our strength, and He will be with us through this… no matter how it turns out. He knows us and calls us by our name. Why be afraid?
rks
02/19/2010
This is the second full day after the diagnosis. The Lord has been very gracious with encouragement, both from Himself and from friends, even from Beijing. But the two enemies, discouragement and fear, are lurking out there. It’s like they’re hiding behind a tree, patiently waiting their opportunity to pounce. I see their evil heads poking out occasionally. But as long as they see Jesus, not only beside me, but in me; they know they have no power. The Daily Bread for this morning was James 1:1-11. “…count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” That’s a verse I’ve read hundreds of times, even memorized; but it has new meaning this morning. I guess that’s what is meant by “the living Word”. In the devotion, Bill Crowder said, “…Life’s most profound lesions cannot be observed, they must be experienced.” We have an amazing God.
rks
Mom-letter 1 and letter 2
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Last night I went to Celebrate Recovery and I really felt the Lord wanted me to talk to the participants about what was going on with my health. They had been hearing things and I wanted them to hear from me. I would like to share with you what I shared with them. You three are so important to me and I know I will need you to be with me in prayer and heart during this time.
Last Sunday, when I was leading my 12-step group we were talking about things that keep us from the Lord. I compared my walk with the Lord to my evolution as a house keeper. When I was young and single I was not a good house keeper, I pretty much cleaned or didn’t clean depending on what was going on in my life. My walk with the Lord at this time was pretty much the same. I believed in Him, but I tended to be pretty messy in my walk with Him. A prayer life was not there unless I was in crises about things like the Prom being three weeks away and I needed a date, will Jon call me back, important things.
After I married Kent I discovered that he liked things neat so I was a little better in the house keeping area. I would at least shove it somewhere so he couldn’t see it. My walk reflected this attitude, I went to church, I found I had a great love for His Word and I went to every Bible Study I could. I had a much closer relationship with Jesus in most areas of my life but I still held onto my junk room.
In the last couple of years I have learned to purge in my housekeeping. If I haven’t used it give it to someone who will, or throw it out. As a result Kent and I are both happier. The Lord has also been calling me to clean out my house for Him. He has been telling me “Janice, I am glad you know my Word, now I want you to know me, really know me in a intimate nature” Everything I have read or studied in this last couple of years has been focused on this thought. He has been teaching me that my relationship with Him is what is important, not my ministries, not my Bible study, only Him. I have found that it is not enough to just read the Word and then walk away, I have been writing down, what does this word say to me, what am I going to do with what He is telling me in this verse. Verse after verse is telling me that as I draw closer to Him- I must trust Him completely. Verses that tell me He’s a light unto my feet, that he holds me up, that He is holding my right hand, it has been amazing to me.
Yesterday I knew why. He has drawn me to Him so that together we will walk this path and I can fear no evil. When Dr. Kirshen said the word cancer there was no fear in me and today there is no fear in me, or in Kent. We know there will be tough times but never have either of us felt His presence so intensely. It may sound weird but I am a little excited about what this journey is going to bring. All I want is for it to bring Glory to my Lord. I don’t want pity, or tears, or whys, I just want everyone to see how great a God I serve. So keep praying for me and sit back ant watch the ride because it should be an exciting one.
I will keep you posted on all that is happening, so stay tuned for the next episode.
Love you more that you know, Janice
Day 2
I woke up this morning to another day not promised. It is so good to know that I don’t have to take care of today that this day too is in His hands. I just wanted to share with you what I read this morning as I did my devotionals. First I read my Jesus calling where he reminded me that though “I am feeling weighted down by a plethora of problems, both big and small, I must continue to be joyful in Him, my Savior. My first thought was forget those small problems, I am feeling the weight of the big ones. It was about 20 minutes later when Kent and I decided to go run some errands that I discovered I had left my purse somewhere. You can only imagine the prayers that I was sending up when we called the last place we had been yesterday. Yes, my purse was there and God, in His own sense of humor, reminded me that I am not to get so caught up in the big thing that I lose sight of him in the little things. Then as Kent mentioned, the Daily Bread had James 1 in which we are told to “Count it al joy when you face trials of many kinds” The world would tell me this was crazy and if I was to do this in my own power they would be right, but I do joy in the fact that I do not go through these trials alone, I am being carried in the very arms of the Creator God. Twice in the last week I have been given verses in which I am told that he holds me by His right hand. How can I feel less than joyful?
Kent and I are truly blessed by the number of people who have called, are praying for us, or have just stopped to give us a hug – it is a reminder of how big my God is – we have people praying for us from all parts of the United States all the way to China. I love you all.
Last night I went to Celebrate Recovery and I really felt the Lord wanted me to talk to the participants about what was going on with my health. They had been hearing things and I wanted them to hear from me. I would like to share with you what I shared with them. You three are so important to me and I know I will need you to be with me in prayer and heart during this time.
Last Sunday, when I was leading my 12-step group we were talking about things that keep us from the Lord. I compared my walk with the Lord to my evolution as a house keeper. When I was young and single I was not a good house keeper, I pretty much cleaned or didn’t clean depending on what was going on in my life. My walk with the Lord at this time was pretty much the same. I believed in Him, but I tended to be pretty messy in my walk with Him. A prayer life was not there unless I was in crises about things like the Prom being three weeks away and I needed a date, will Jon call me back, important things.
After I married Kent I discovered that he liked things neat so I was a little better in the house keeping area. I would at least shove it somewhere so he couldn’t see it. My walk reflected this attitude, I went to church, I found I had a great love for His Word and I went to every Bible Study I could. I had a much closer relationship with Jesus in most areas of my life but I still held onto my junk room.
In the last couple of years I have learned to purge in my housekeeping. If I haven’t used it give it to someone who will, or throw it out. As a result Kent and I are both happier. The Lord has also been calling me to clean out my house for Him. He has been telling me “Janice, I am glad you know my Word, now I want you to know me, really know me in a intimate nature” Everything I have read or studied in this last couple of years has been focused on this thought. He has been teaching me that my relationship with Him is what is important, not my ministries, not my Bible study, only Him. I have found that it is not enough to just read the Word and then walk away, I have been writing down, what does this word say to me, what am I going to do with what He is telling me in this verse. Verse after verse is telling me that as I draw closer to Him- I must trust Him completely. Verses that tell me He’s a light unto my feet, that he holds me up, that He is holding my right hand, it has been amazing to me.
Yesterday I knew why. He has drawn me to Him so that together we will walk this path and I can fear no evil. When Dr. Kirshen said the word cancer there was no fear in me and today there is no fear in me, or in Kent. We know there will be tough times but never have either of us felt His presence so intensely. It may sound weird but I am a little excited about what this journey is going to bring. All I want is for it to bring Glory to my Lord. I don’t want pity, or tears, or whys, I just want everyone to see how great a God I serve. So keep praying for me and sit back ant watch the ride because it should be an exciting one.
I will keep you posted on all that is happening, so stay tuned for the next episode.
Love you more that you know, Janice
Day 2
I woke up this morning to another day not promised. It is so good to know that I don’t have to take care of today that this day too is in His hands. I just wanted to share with you what I read this morning as I did my devotionals. First I read my Jesus calling where he reminded me that though “I am feeling weighted down by a plethora of problems, both big and small, I must continue to be joyful in Him, my Savior. My first thought was forget those small problems, I am feeling the weight of the big ones. It was about 20 minutes later when Kent and I decided to go run some errands that I discovered I had left my purse somewhere. You can only imagine the prayers that I was sending up when we called the last place we had been yesterday. Yes, my purse was there and God, in His own sense of humor, reminded me that I am not to get so caught up in the big thing that I lose sight of him in the little things. Then as Kent mentioned, the Daily Bread had James 1 in which we are told to “Count it al joy when you face trials of many kinds” The world would tell me this was crazy and if I was to do this in my own power they would be right, but I do joy in the fact that I do not go through these trials alone, I am being carried in the very arms of the Creator God. Twice in the last week I have been given verses in which I am told that he holds me by His right hand. How can I feel less than joyful?
Kent and I are truly blessed by the number of people who have called, are praying for us, or have just stopped to give us a hug – it is a reminder of how big my God is – we have people praying for us from all parts of the United States all the way to China. I love you all.
Beginnings
This past Wednesday I found out that my mom had been diagnosed with Colon Cancer. Needless to say, when I heard those words, my heart sank. Everyone believes that their mom is invincible and I am no exception to that. She has been my rock for 40 years. As I talked on the phone with her and my dad that day after their appointment, I realized that they had something that I did not, and that was a perfect sense of peace. Not peace that everything was OK, but peace that God is in control of this and He will continue throughout this journey. While I was looking at my mom as the rock, I found that they were setting their feet on the solid Rock, Christ. It is only through Him that we will fight this journey alongside of her. It is only through Him that we can even begin to feel that peace that has surrounded both my parents.
I have decided to start a blog to share the journey of standing on the solid Rock through a battle with cancer. I know that my mom's battle will be one that will be difficult at times, yet I trust the Lord in all of this. Christ refines us as we go through trials and we are walking through a time of refining. Instead of being sad, mad or complaining I will set my feet on the Rock as my parents have and trust. The verse that I am claiming through this battle is I Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". I will give thanks that the Lord is in control and be joyful that His plan is perfect.
Mom and Dad have both written emails to a some of us the past few days. I will post them on this blog as well so you can see the strength that they are receiving from the Lord. It has been such an encouragement to me and I know it will be to you all.
In Christ's strength I stand!
Lisa
I have decided to start a blog to share the journey of standing on the solid Rock through a battle with cancer. I know that my mom's battle will be one that will be difficult at times, yet I trust the Lord in all of this. Christ refines us as we go through trials and we are walking through a time of refining. Instead of being sad, mad or complaining I will set my feet on the Rock as my parents have and trust. The verse that I am claiming through this battle is I Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". I will give thanks that the Lord is in control and be joyful that His plan is perfect.
Mom and Dad have both written emails to a some of us the past few days. I will post them on this blog as well so you can see the strength that they are receiving from the Lord. It has been such an encouragement to me and I know it will be to you all.
In Christ's strength I stand!
Lisa
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