THE DREAM

Hello everyone,
Today's blog entry will be from me, Debra. The first I have ever posted. While, I've been reading the blog, I haven't chosen to put in an entry. Not my thing, I guess. However, Dad asked me to write today and so how can I say "no," especially, because of a powerful answer to his prayer all because of my dream.
First I want to express how heartbreaking and difficult it has been living my life without my mother. There was no one on earth who loved me more and to have that love absent (at least in this world) is deeply missed. However, I feel all the prayers being prayed on my behalf for comfort and peace. The Lord is most assuredly holding me up and answering prayers.
Speaking of answered prayer, this brings me to Dad. Ever since Mom passed I have been having vivid dreams that she is back and alive. I'm so stunned and excited in my dream but then awake to the reality that Mom isn't alive. My mind kept saying to me, "She's dead in the gound!" (perhaps that is what the enemy was saying to me). She cannot be back. The chance for that miracle is gone. We all prayed for that miracle and it was unanswered. I'm then left feeling hopeless and so very sad. I tell Dad when I have these dreams and he seems concerned but knows there is nothing any of us can do. Last night I had another dream. However this dream was different. Yes, it was Mom but not back and alive but from heaven. I was talking with her and asking her questions. The one I specifically remember, I asked if she remembers me or thinks of us or worries about me?" She said, "Know you and remember you here in Heaven, yes! But worry about you, no. " I awoke with that and felt a peace this time. Much different from the other dreams. Like always, I told Dad. He immediatly became teary eyed and showed me an entry he had written in his journal back on Sept 1st. Apparently, Dad(along with all of us) has been very frustrated with the silence of God and the seemingly unanswered prayers. Pastor Kevin told Dad to pray for a specific sign and he truly believed God would do so. So Dad prayed that I would have dream of Mom and know that she was in Heaven and ok. Dad never spoke of this prayer for a sign. He simply prayed it and wrote it in his journal. So today I wondered in and casually mentioned the dream to Dad. Now I know why he immediatly teared. God answered his EXACT prayer and gave him the EXACT sign he asked for. Praise God for He is faithful and good all the time. And OH HOW HE LOVES US!!!!! God Bless everyone. Today I feel very blessed to be the instrument God used for an answered prayer.

Eulogies

It has been a month now. The physical hurt has eased a bit, but the hole in our stomachs remains, and, as Lisa said, it will for a very long time. We are, in fact, maintaining with the help of our Lord and a lot of people still praying for us. We will make it through, but there's still a lot of rough sailing ahead.

I have learned that we have some new readers of the blog, and many of you were unable to attend the funeral, so I'm going to post the eulogies we, her family, gave at the service. Unfortunately, Debra's was written in long hand, so I don't have it. But below are the rest of us, including Kelly, our foster daughter who represented all the suto-daughters.

Kristi:
On behalf of my family, we would like to thank everyone who has come today to remember my Mother and her life. My mom would be humbled by the amount of love and adoration given to her today

When I thought about what to say on behalf of myself and my family, my mind surfed through so many beautiful memories. I saw the time she came to my home after my son Scotty was born and the relief I felt knowing she was there with me. I remembered our back and forth banter shared as she sat in her chair watching home shows, cops shows or America’s Top Chef. I heard her unique and wonderful laugh. When I was about 17 we went on a family sky trip to Montana As we stood at the bottom of the slope waiting for my Dad, she began talking to a woman who was standing beside us telling her how great a skier my father was. As she sang his praises, a giant snowball, which turned out to be my father, came rolling down the hill and landed right in front of us. I don’t remember if she admitted if it was my Dad or not but her laughter rang out for everyone to hear. I will so miss that sound.

Debbie asked me a little over a week ago to identify the legacy Mom has left for me. What a difficult question. As I grappled with my memories and emotions, her life came down to one thing for me….. a life of faithfulness. When money was tight, there was never conflict because the Lord provided. When conflicts between family members, friends or neighbors arose, there was never bitterness or grudges formed. When my grandmother Corynne passed away, I watched my own mother lean upon our Lord in faithfulness. My sisters and I can each remember our own individual moments with mom when she gently brought us back onto the road so sadly traveled by few. Her love for the Lord was unfailing and my Dad can attest to her amazing growth over the past two years that prepared her for this journey. The week she was in the hospital, I found a picture in her journal she had drawn. It was her laying face down in our Lord’s hand. I believe this was the way she viewed her life as she moved through her joys and heartaches.

I leave you this Proverbs 31:26-31. Many of you know it as the Epilogue written by a King who received wise teachings from his own mother.

I love you Mom.


Lisa:
Let me start with this verse: I John 4:11-12 “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

This verse is a great representation of the way my mom lived her life. She was a great reminder to me and so many others that we ought to love all people. I have seen my mom loving people my entire life. It didn’t matter the social status of a person. She could love a socialite, as well as a homeless drug addict on the street. Her love for people was never partial. This was not of my mom’s own power but rather because of the love that she had for the Lord. It was the Lord that helped her to love all. It was because of Him that she loved. Her love for those that seemed unlovable is the thing that I most admired in her. Whether it was a student that nobody wanted in their classroom or a young lady that most had given up on, she loved them all.
She and dad have passed this type of love on to each of their daughters. We have had an incredible example of what it means to love people. She underlined this statement in her devotion, “God’s love to me is inexhaustible, and I must love others from the bedrock of God’s love to me”. She was a faithful example of this. Was it always easy to love others? NO, but that did not stop her from doing it. I never doubted how much she loved me nor did I doubt her love for others. I am proud to be her daughter and thankful that she taught me to love Christ first and then extend that love to others.

Kelly:
Well, I was the first of many to come. I came to live with Kent and Janice and three very young girls, when I was a young teenager in 1975. I recall being very scared as Kent brought me home; Janice didn’t have a clue that he would not be coming home alone. I had so many things going through my head, strongest being what the heck she would be thinking as he walked in the door with this shaggy troubled young girl. Rejection was a regular thing to me in those days, so I was prepared for an unwelcome introduction and another trip down the road. What I found was this most amazing woman who welcomed me with open arms. Life was tough and very scary for me in those days and I recall the many late night talks Janice and I had, most of them tear filled and emotional, we would sit in the middle of room on the floor to talk to cry to laugh and to pray. She spent countless nights praying and talking with me, I know many times she went to bed frustrated and praying for guidance to get through to me. I challenged her many times in the beginning as I just knew if I messed up enough they would send me down the road and I could survive this experience with the least amount of pain possible. But that was not to happen. She informed me that I was hers and I was there to stay and no amount of messing up would get me sent down the road. With continued persistence and prayer she reached me, she showed me a mother’s unconditional love, with her love and support I was able to grow into a secure woman that loves the lord. Many many times over the past years I have thanked her for all she had done for me, never one time did she accept credit for any of it, she always praised our lord and gave all the credit to him. So to all the pseudo daughters that followed I am proud to say I was the first and I must not have been too bad as she continued to reach out and change the lives of many young women over the past 35 plus years, and to my momma Janice, I love you and I will miss you everyday for the rest of my life and thank you to our Lord Jesus Christ for bringing you into my life.


Kent:
I wrote this on Aug. 1, 2010, the morning after the Lord took Janice with Him. It was written after the last page she wrote in her last journal.

My beloved Janice, may I borrow a page in your journal to express how much I love that you loved your Lord and how important it is to me today that you were completely dependent upon and trusting of your Jesus? Yesterday you left me and it broke my heart. But I can’t even imagine what your life is like this morning.
“Eye has not seen nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”
(1 Cor 2:9)

And love Him you did. I have watched you in your big recliner for the past two years as you grew closer and closer to Him. You said He was preparing you for something. Now we know what that was. He drug you through the mud as He broke my heart watching you. But He knew my heart needed broken in order to break my pride. I’m so sorry it took your suffering to do that. I am no longer ashamed of my tears, and they are profuse for you.

This morning I read James 2:1
“My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord of Glory, with partiality.”
That verse is so exemplified in you. You had such love for those who are hurting and struggling. You loved your Celebrate Recovery girls. You loved Christmas because it gave you an opportunity to give gifts to those who wouldn’t get any. It is God’s money and you loved giving it to those He loves. If someone says “you are amazing”, you would say, “No, I have an amazing God.” If anyone wants to honor you I know you would say, “Honor my Savior.” If anyone wants to emulate you I know you would say, “Only emulate my love and dependence upon my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.” But I am so thankful you are in His presence this morning. No more chemo, no more sickness, no more weakness. Will we make it? Of course, because you taught us to place our dependence upon Him only. We are hurting badly, but we don’t grieve as “…others who have no hope.” (1 Thes 4:13) You are His and so are we.

Yesterday, as you were escorted into His presence, there is no doubt you heard,
“Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord.” (Matt 25:23)
And I can visualize your great joy as you offered your rewards back to Jesus, your great God.

Thank you for the great run we had Babe. You and I know that you were far from perfect, but we’ll save those stories for another day. I was always amazed that someone as beautiful as you, the Military Ball Queen of Williston, ND, would spend her life with me. I thought I loved you more than anyone else could. But there is One who loves you with an even greater love. I’ll see you both soon. Perhaps sooner than we think.