March 31, 2010
I am back – well almost back. After 5 days in the hospital they sprung me to the care of Kent and Debra and so far they are doing a great job. As you all know, the surgery was successful. The results may not have been all that we wanted, but we know that we are still secure in His arms. I need to remind myself of my verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
My hospital stay was not the most pleasant time of my life. The doctor told me I would have a lot of pain and needless to say he did not lie. The first day after the surgery I spent throwing up as people told me I had to walk. It is most difficult to walk and barf all at once. Thursday, my mild mannered husband decided to take matters in own hands and set me a walking schedule. As I lay in my bed of pain, he lined me and my daughters out on how often and how long I would get up and walk. As I laid in bed looking at him, I could not help but think that even in my weakened state I still outweighed him by more than a few pounds and that with the right motivation I could take him out. But I didn’t. I walked down the hall, holding my barf bag in one hand and my walker in the other. In all seriousness, I can’t imagine not having a husband and daughters willing to spend day and night with you when you are sick.
I am healing. Had my stitches out which was a relief. I think the doctor who invented stables was a little cruel. Through it all my God has continued to sustain me on all sides. My final thought before I go to bed is from Psalm 37:23-24 “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He makes his steps firm, though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord up holds him with His hand.
Thank you for all the cards, prayers, and love you have showered on us during this time.
Janice
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
God's will
I had wanted to sit and write earlier this past week, but was just not able to. It has been a long week of watching my mom deal with the pain, both physical and emotional, of surgery. While in the midst of that I have seen God continue to prove himself faithful over and over again. Let me just share the ways that God has answered prayers:
1. We prayed for less pain and within 24 hours her pain level went from an 8 to a 2.
2. We prayed for a headache and nausea to go away and within 24 hours she was no longer throwing up and was able to get up and walk.
3. We prayed that she would be able to come home sooner than originally planned and she was home on Sunday.
4. We prayed that the Lord would be glorified throughout this process. He continues to get the praise and glory for the work He is doing in the lives of our family.
5. While the results were not what we were hoping for, God, in his mercy, has contained the cancer and the prognosis looks good.
There are so many other small and big prayers that have been answered and I know there are more to come.
I was reminded again of the verse that I have made my verses for this year and one that hangs on the cupboard in my parents kitchen. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" It has given me so much hope and comfort. I am joyful amid the trial because I am in the presence of Christ. I pray continually that the Lord will not only heal my mom, but that He will be glorified in this. I give thanks in the circumstance because I have learned again and again during this that I have a God that I can turn to. God's will is not that my life or the life of my family is perfect and that we won't suffer, but that we do those three things. He continues to walk us through this and for that I am thankful.
I was reminded after mom received the results of the biopsies that God has answered our prayers up to this point and because of that we can be assured that He will continue to answer our prayers. Praise God for that!
Thank you for all the prayers and support during this. We have been truly blessed by the body of Christ!
1. We prayed for less pain and within 24 hours her pain level went from an 8 to a 2.
2. We prayed for a headache and nausea to go away and within 24 hours she was no longer throwing up and was able to get up and walk.
3. We prayed that she would be able to come home sooner than originally planned and she was home on Sunday.
4. We prayed that the Lord would be glorified throughout this process. He continues to get the praise and glory for the work He is doing in the lives of our family.
5. While the results were not what we were hoping for, God, in his mercy, has contained the cancer and the prognosis looks good.
There are so many other small and big prayers that have been answered and I know there are more to come.
I was reminded again of the verse that I have made my verses for this year and one that hangs on the cupboard in my parents kitchen. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" It has given me so much hope and comfort. I am joyful amid the trial because I am in the presence of Christ. I pray continually that the Lord will not only heal my mom, but that He will be glorified in this. I give thanks in the circumstance because I have learned again and again during this that I have a God that I can turn to. God's will is not that my life or the life of my family is perfect and that we won't suffer, but that we do those three things. He continues to walk us through this and for that I am thankful.
I was reminded after mom received the results of the biopsies that God has answered our prayers up to this point and because of that we can be assured that He will continue to answer our prayers. Praise God for that!
Thank you for all the prayers and support during this. We have been truly blessed by the body of Christ!
Monday, March 29, 2010
The Battle 03/29/2010 (Dad)
For those of you who have been checking the blog for an update on Janice’s condition, I apologize. None of us has felt much like writing for the past week and it’s been rather busy. Here’s the update. First, the praise is that she came home yesterday and is in the healing process. The news from the biopsy was not as good as we had hoped, but not as bad as it could have been. The tumor had penetrated the third layer and of the 28 lymph nodes taken, eighteen showed cancer cells; 10 did not. It will be necessary for her to start chemo as soon as she’s healed enough from surgery. And so our initial reaction was, “darn!" That’s because the Enemy saw another opening and dove in. He attacks with fear and tries to set up camp with discouragement. “He (that’s us) will not be afraid of evil tidings (bad news in TLB version); His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” (Ps 112:7) That’s the only defense I know. But all the above is the negative aspect and the positive is much more powerful. The surgeon believes he got everything. The 10 clean lymph nodes indicate the cancer had not spread beyond that area, and the surgeon, who was formerly an oncologist, believes the chemo will take care of it for good. In addition, the chemo is not the kind that makes you lose hair and become severely nauseated. So, we continue to feel that we are blessed and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. However, in the dark of the tunnel, I’m finding it difficult to watch Janice deal with the pain and sickness of the aftermath of surgery. I’m not feeling very philosophical or theological. I just want her to be well. I wish my faith was greater. Thanks again for all your prayers and concern. We feel you there even in the midst of the struggle, and we realize many of you have gone before us in this battle. In the midst of the waters, He truly is going with us and they are not overflowing us. (Isa 43:2)
rks
rks
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Surgery day (dad)
THE DAY 03/23/2010
I hate it! I’m sitting in the hospital room with Janice right now and she is in pain; she says greater than she can remember. This is the girl who has birthed three children and gone through open heart surgery. I hate sitting here watching my fun loving, jokester wife, whose laugh has often disturbed crowds, suffer so greatly. Why can’t I do something? Why can’t it be me instead of her? I have a new respect for guys who have had to watch their wives pain for long periods of time, especially knowing it would not end well. Staney Faulkner, you are one of my heroes, and I pray God will show you grace you have never imagined. Janice will get better and that infectious laugh will rock the room again.
The surgery went well and we’re on the healing side now. Once again we have a lot to be thankful for. God is good; all the time; no matter what. I feel badly for those who don’t know that. I was just reading in Mark 5, about Jairus, who came to Jesus because his daughter was mortally sick. As they went to Jairus’ house, some of his friends came and told him that his daughter had died and he shouldn’t trouble the Teacher anymore. Jesus told Jairus not to be afraid, only believe, and that the child was not dead, but sleeping. And the people ridiculed Him. After all, they did know a dead person when they saw one, and this fanatic is way out of line. So, Jesus kicked them all out and told the girl to get up, which, of course she did. I would not want to miss the benefits of the God of Heaven and Earth just because I believe we live in a closed system and that He is not who He says He is and cannot do what He says He’ll do. He has brought us thus far and He’ll take us the distance.
Meanwhile, as I sit here, Janice’s blood pressure is falling and the nurse says she may have to take her off the morphine for awhile. I still hate it! But the Lord has it under control and I guess I’d better quit trying to micro-manage everything He’s doing here.
“… we do not look at the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Cor 4:18
PS Update: All that was written right after the surgery. Since then the pain has become more manageable, the blood pressure stabilized without removing the morphine, and she’s been able to sleep off and on. PTL
rks
I hate it! I’m sitting in the hospital room with Janice right now and she is in pain; she says greater than she can remember. This is the girl who has birthed three children and gone through open heart surgery. I hate sitting here watching my fun loving, jokester wife, whose laugh has often disturbed crowds, suffer so greatly. Why can’t I do something? Why can’t it be me instead of her? I have a new respect for guys who have had to watch their wives pain for long periods of time, especially knowing it would not end well. Staney Faulkner, you are one of my heroes, and I pray God will show you grace you have never imagined. Janice will get better and that infectious laugh will rock the room again.
The surgery went well and we’re on the healing side now. Once again we have a lot to be thankful for. God is good; all the time; no matter what. I feel badly for those who don’t know that. I was just reading in Mark 5, about Jairus, who came to Jesus because his daughter was mortally sick. As they went to Jairus’ house, some of his friends came and told him that his daughter had died and he shouldn’t trouble the Teacher anymore. Jesus told Jairus not to be afraid, only believe, and that the child was not dead, but sleeping. And the people ridiculed Him. After all, they did know a dead person when they saw one, and this fanatic is way out of line. So, Jesus kicked them all out and told the girl to get up, which, of course she did. I would not want to miss the benefits of the God of Heaven and Earth just because I believe we live in a closed system and that He is not who He says He is and cannot do what He says He’ll do. He has brought us thus far and He’ll take us the distance.
Meanwhile, as I sit here, Janice’s blood pressure is falling and the nurse says she may have to take her off the morphine for awhile. I still hate it! But the Lord has it under control and I guess I’d better quit trying to micro-manage everything He’s doing here.
“… we do not look at the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Cor 4:18
PS Update: All that was written right after the surgery. Since then the pain has become more manageable, the blood pressure stabilized without removing the morphine, and she’s been able to sleep off and on. PTL
rks
Monday, March 22, 2010
Surgery
Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 5:30. God in his mercy has continued to provide peace amid the uncertainty. I am constantly amazed each time I talk to my parents and hear the joy they continue to have in the Lord in the midst of cancer. Yesterday in church we had the opportunity to stand up and share with the congregation something that we are praising the Lord for in our lives. I sat there for quite awhile and fought with God about getting up and sharing, thinking I should leave it to others, but He had other plans. I thought that people are going to think I am crazy when I stand up and say that I am praising the Lord for my mom's cancer. I think a few may have thought was crazy, but I really am thanking Him for this. I have seen a peace that passes all understanding through this. I have felt his presence with our family every step of the way. I have heard of so many around the world praying for her healing. That is something to praise God for. It is through this trial that I have seen the faith of my parents increased and my complete dependence on God for my mom's health. That would not happen if times were good. We tend to leave God out when things are going our way and we think we have the world by the horns. Praise God that He does not leave us there, that he loves us enough to draw us nearer to him through trials.
I had a friend text me yesterday saying that she had a dream about my family sitting in a beach house celebrating my mom's clean bill of health. She said the dream was so vivid that she could remember every detail. I know that I serve a God that is the ultimate physician and I am thankful that He will be guiding the hands of the surgeons tomorrow. I guess because I serve a mighty God I had better start looking for that beach house to rent to celebrate a cancer free mom!
Thank you for your prayers. I will post tomorrow night and let you all know how the surgery went.
I had a friend text me yesterday saying that she had a dream about my family sitting in a beach house celebrating my mom's clean bill of health. She said the dream was so vivid that she could remember every detail. I know that I serve a God that is the ultimate physician and I am thankful that He will be guiding the hands of the surgeons tomorrow. I guess because I serve a mighty God I had better start looking for that beach house to rent to celebrate a cancer free mom!
Thank you for your prayers. I will post tomorrow night and let you all know how the surgery went.
It's Time (mom)
March 21, 2009
The wait is almost over which is a praise. It has not been all bad because the two or so weeks has given me time to spend in the Word, to talk to friends, to encourage those around me, and to experience the complete love of all the people around me. I believe even God may want this wait to be over so that Heaven will become a little less noisy due to all the prayers of friends and family. I ask one more prayer for tomorrow as I go to the hospital at 5:30 am. I really don’t feel fearful but am a little anxious to have it all done. I have placed the hands of my surgeon in the hands of my God so I am in the best hands ever.
Yesterday was a day of eating Jell-O and chicken broth followed by today’s diet of Jell-O and chicken broth. The only difference was today I got to drink a gallon of stuff that is so terrible that I think it is done so you don’t feel so bad about the surgery. At least they let you sleep during the surgery.
Again, thank you all for your faithful support and prayers. The Lord has continued to keep me wrapped in His arms. If anyone sees anything like strength in me they are looking at the wrong person. I give all the glory to my Lord – without His presence I would be like that bowl of Jell-O. My readings today took me to Isaiah 12:2-3 “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” It never ceases to amaze me how He can give me the exact scripture I need at any give time.
I will write you all when I get home from the hospital unless I can write and have Kent type it for me. Love you all.
Janice
The wait is almost over which is a praise. It has not been all bad because the two or so weeks has given me time to spend in the Word, to talk to friends, to encourage those around me, and to experience the complete love of all the people around me. I believe even God may want this wait to be over so that Heaven will become a little less noisy due to all the prayers of friends and family. I ask one more prayer for tomorrow as I go to the hospital at 5:30 am. I really don’t feel fearful but am a little anxious to have it all done. I have placed the hands of my surgeon in the hands of my God so I am in the best hands ever.
Yesterday was a day of eating Jell-O and chicken broth followed by today’s diet of Jell-O and chicken broth. The only difference was today I got to drink a gallon of stuff that is so terrible that I think it is done so you don’t feel so bad about the surgery. At least they let you sleep during the surgery.
Again, thank you all for your faithful support and prayers. The Lord has continued to keep me wrapped in His arms. If anyone sees anything like strength in me they are looking at the wrong person. I give all the glory to my Lord – without His presence I would be like that bowl of Jell-O. My readings today took me to Isaiah 12:2-3 “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” It never ceases to amaze me how He can give me the exact scripture I need at any give time.
I will write you all when I get home from the hospital unless I can write and have Kent type it for me. Love you all.
Janice
The race (dad)
03/21/2010
I hate waiting. I guess that makes me a normal American. We hate red lights so they have to put cameras up to make us stop, grocery lines always slow down as soon as we step into them, and we like everything instant; instant food, instant communication, and instant healing. The time is winding down to Tuesday and the waiting is becoming a tool the Enemy would love to manipulate. Surgery is much easier to take when you’re looking back at it rather than forward, huh Judy? The prep has started and it is clear liquids and Jell-O for the next two days, not to mention the really crummy part tomorrow. I’m sticking with her on the diet until Tuesday, but I’m giving it up when the three days of crushed ice starts. I wish I could do it all for her, but that option wasn’t offered, and that’s frustrating. I don’t think we’re worried, but the mind likes to play games, and I know Janice’s desire now is, “Let’s get it done!” I would second that.
We are very appreciative of all of you who are walking through this with us. We have received phone calls, cards and prayers from all over the place. One guy has threatened me if I don’t let him know the surgery time so he can come pray with us before she goes in. It is good to know we don’t walk alone. None of us will be able to go into the surgery room with Janice and her medical team on Tuesday morning. As much as I like to manipulate and control and make sure no harm comes to my wife, I will be completely helpless to change anything. But there is One who will walk in there with her, and He is the one who will determine the outcome. He’s the One who always does. So, wait we will, and continue to trust Him who has never failed us. Why would we even want it any other way. Thanks for your prayers and support. I’ll see you here after the surgery.
“… those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.” Isa 40:31
The toughest part of a marathon is the last two miles, but we’ll finish this race.
rks
I hate waiting. I guess that makes me a normal American. We hate red lights so they have to put cameras up to make us stop, grocery lines always slow down as soon as we step into them, and we like everything instant; instant food, instant communication, and instant healing. The time is winding down to Tuesday and the waiting is becoming a tool the Enemy would love to manipulate. Surgery is much easier to take when you’re looking back at it rather than forward, huh Judy? The prep has started and it is clear liquids and Jell-O for the next two days, not to mention the really crummy part tomorrow. I’m sticking with her on the diet until Tuesday, but I’m giving it up when the three days of crushed ice starts. I wish I could do it all for her, but that option wasn’t offered, and that’s frustrating. I don’t think we’re worried, but the mind likes to play games, and I know Janice’s desire now is, “Let’s get it done!” I would second that.
We are very appreciative of all of you who are walking through this with us. We have received phone calls, cards and prayers from all over the place. One guy has threatened me if I don’t let him know the surgery time so he can come pray with us before she goes in. It is good to know we don’t walk alone. None of us will be able to go into the surgery room with Janice and her medical team on Tuesday morning. As much as I like to manipulate and control and make sure no harm comes to my wife, I will be completely helpless to change anything. But there is One who will walk in there with her, and He is the one who will determine the outcome. He’s the One who always does. So, wait we will, and continue to trust Him who has never failed us. Why would we even want it any other way. Thanks for your prayers and support. I’ll see you here after the surgery.
“… those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.” Isa 40:31
The toughest part of a marathon is the last two miles, but we’ll finish this race.
rks
Friday, March 19, 2010
Do not worry about tomorrow.
April 18, 2010
The time of my surgery is fast approaching. I am presently looking forward to the body cleansing process which should start tomorrow night. In the mean time I am eating everything that even remotely sounds good. Tonight Kent is going to fix us some of his famous bar-b-que ribs. Tomorrow I go on soft liquid diet and Sunday I ease into a diet of orange Jell-O and broth to be followed by surgery on Tuesday. I have been told that ice chips will be my standard fare for about three days after surgery. I am not looking at this procedure as cancer related but rather a weight reduction surgery.
As the days draw closer I find the enemy wanting to play mind games with me. He would love for me to indulge in a little “what if” with him. My Lord is so gracious as He keeps these thoughts from becoming full blown in my head. I find Him giving me such Scripture as Deuteronomy 33:27 The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemy before you saying “destroy him!” Yesterday, my verse was one that I have read many times and know by heart, but it took on a whole new meaning for me as I sat and waited to do pre-opt things like taking blood, EKGs, and chest x-rays. It is from Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. I am smart enough to know that anything can happen when I go into surgery, but I am wise enough to know that my life is not in the hand of the surgeon – it is in the hands of my living God and His will will be accomplished. I pray that Kent and I will give Him all the glory no matter what the outcome. Christ has been so faithful to me during this time and I rejoice in what He has taught me. I have walked with Jesus for many years, but this has been an opportunity to rest in Him, and it is a wonderful place to be. I would not change this situation; I cannot express the joy that comes from drawing so close to the one who gave us all life.
I just want to close this update with some words from 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Love to you all, Janice
The time of my surgery is fast approaching. I am presently looking forward to the body cleansing process which should start tomorrow night. In the mean time I am eating everything that even remotely sounds good. Tonight Kent is going to fix us some of his famous bar-b-que ribs. Tomorrow I go on soft liquid diet and Sunday I ease into a diet of orange Jell-O and broth to be followed by surgery on Tuesday. I have been told that ice chips will be my standard fare for about three days after surgery. I am not looking at this procedure as cancer related but rather a weight reduction surgery.
As the days draw closer I find the enemy wanting to play mind games with me. He would love for me to indulge in a little “what if” with him. My Lord is so gracious as He keeps these thoughts from becoming full blown in my head. I find Him giving me such Scripture as Deuteronomy 33:27 The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemy before you saying “destroy him!” Yesterday, my verse was one that I have read many times and know by heart, but it took on a whole new meaning for me as I sat and waited to do pre-opt things like taking blood, EKGs, and chest x-rays. It is from Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. I am smart enough to know that anything can happen when I go into surgery, but I am wise enough to know that my life is not in the hand of the surgeon – it is in the hands of my living God and His will will be accomplished. I pray that Kent and I will give Him all the glory no matter what the outcome. Christ has been so faithful to me during this time and I rejoice in what He has taught me. I have walked with Jesus for many years, but this has been an opportunity to rest in Him, and it is a wonderful place to be. I would not change this situation; I cannot express the joy that comes from drawing so close to the one who gave us all life.
I just want to close this update with some words from 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Love to you all, Janice
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Prayer (dad)
03/12/2010
Prayer; it is at once a very simple yet difficult concept. Yesterday, my friend, Judy, had cancer surgery. It was a difficult day for her due to other health issues and a multitude of inadequacies by the attending medical staff. There were complications that were life threatening. There were a lot of people praying, from an African American church in Dallas to a couple of guys walking a golf course in California. At the end of a very long day for those with her at the hospital, another friend called and said, “She’s out and everything went well.” My first reaction was, “Praise God”. But my second reaction was wondering if all that prayer really had a direct effect on the outcome, or if what happens; happens. I know all the theology behind prayer, but it is one of those areas that the Enemy will use for doubt. We pray because scripture tells us to (Phil 4:6 et al) and because it’s a positive action we can take when we can’t do anything else. But, do I really believe it’s effective? Was it really prayer that God responded to that pulled Judy through that surgery yesterday? Is all that prayer for Janice really going to influence the direction of the cancer and the surgery? Has it already? I don’t know how it all works. I do know that scripture says, “The fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (Jms 5:16b). And I know a couple of other things. God is sovereign and will do what He chooses to do that will bring honor to Him, and that will always be best for us. (Isa 64:8) God is faithful and can be depended upon even when doubt blinds my faith and good intentions. “If we are faithless, He remains faithful…” (2 Tim 2:13) Many of you who prayed for my friend Judy yesterday don’t even know her. Thank you for that. And thank you that you continue to pray for Janice and me. Though I sometimes doubt and wonder about how prayer works, I am convinced God listen, and I’m convinced He reacts. Prayer does change things. And that’s enough to know for now. Keep it up.
Prayer; it is at once a very simple yet difficult concept. Yesterday, my friend, Judy, had cancer surgery. It was a difficult day for her due to other health issues and a multitude of inadequacies by the attending medical staff. There were complications that were life threatening. There were a lot of people praying, from an African American church in Dallas to a couple of guys walking a golf course in California. At the end of a very long day for those with her at the hospital, another friend called and said, “She’s out and everything went well.” My first reaction was, “Praise God”. But my second reaction was wondering if all that prayer really had a direct effect on the outcome, or if what happens; happens. I know all the theology behind prayer, but it is one of those areas that the Enemy will use for doubt. We pray because scripture tells us to (Phil 4:6 et al) and because it’s a positive action we can take when we can’t do anything else. But, do I really believe it’s effective? Was it really prayer that God responded to that pulled Judy through that surgery yesterday? Is all that prayer for Janice really going to influence the direction of the cancer and the surgery? Has it already? I don’t know how it all works. I do know that scripture says, “The fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (Jms 5:16b). And I know a couple of other things. God is sovereign and will do what He chooses to do that will bring honor to Him, and that will always be best for us. (Isa 64:8) God is faithful and can be depended upon even when doubt blinds my faith and good intentions. “If we are faithless, He remains faithful…” (2 Tim 2:13) Many of you who prayed for my friend Judy yesterday don’t even know her. Thank you for that. And thank you that you continue to pray for Janice and me. Though I sometimes doubt and wonder about how prayer works, I am convinced God listen, and I’m convinced He reacts. Prayer does change things. And that’s enough to know for now. Keep it up.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
His presence (mom)
March 9, 2010
Just an update on what is happening in my world. I am enjoying this week as it is the first one in awhile that I am not being injected with some caustic substance and made to lay absolutely still when all I want to do is throw up. God is good through it all, I never threw up when I was suppose to be still, and my skinny heart doctor declared that I was “strong of heart and fat of body” so I am good to go. My surgery, if you don’t remember, is scheduled for March 23 at Memorial Hospital.
I was reading in the Psalm the other day and I came across something that spoke so powerfully to me that I had to share it with my 12-step group on Sunday. I am not one who worries much but if I am going to feel worry or fear it will be in the middle of the night. Before my heart problem was diagnosed I would often walk up in utter fear of dying and would have to pray myself back to sleep. This has not happened to me this time – not that I don’t find myself waking up – but that I am not fearful. When reading Psalm 63:6-8 it was as though my Lord was letting me know why. It reads, “On my bed I remember you, I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadows of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” I remembered the many times I have found myself waking up in the night but instead of fear filling my mind, I found myself singing a familiar hymn or chorus, it is as if the Lord is keeping fear from me in the watches of the night by bringing to mind songs that talk of His loving presence. I don’t remember them all but I do remember one of them was Great is Thy Faithfulness. It doesn’t last long and I drift back to sleep. Isn’t that just the neatest thing? You will all be relieved to know that I am not singing out loud or poor Kent would be having nightmares, the song just plays in my head. Sometimes I don’t even know all the words and I just mentally hum. My God is such an awesome God, and He never fails to amaze me in how He is constantly revealing Himself to me and then affirming that it is indeed from Him by placing what is happening to me in His word. What a tremendous joy that brings to me.
Keep praying for Kent and me. We love you all and cannot express what your support has meant to us during this time. Janice
Just an update on what is happening in my world. I am enjoying this week as it is the first one in awhile that I am not being injected with some caustic substance and made to lay absolutely still when all I want to do is throw up. God is good through it all, I never threw up when I was suppose to be still, and my skinny heart doctor declared that I was “strong of heart and fat of body” so I am good to go. My surgery, if you don’t remember, is scheduled for March 23 at Memorial Hospital.
I was reading in the Psalm the other day and I came across something that spoke so powerfully to me that I had to share it with my 12-step group on Sunday. I am not one who worries much but if I am going to feel worry or fear it will be in the middle of the night. Before my heart problem was diagnosed I would often walk up in utter fear of dying and would have to pray myself back to sleep. This has not happened to me this time – not that I don’t find myself waking up – but that I am not fearful. When reading Psalm 63:6-8 it was as though my Lord was letting me know why. It reads, “On my bed I remember you, I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadows of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” I remembered the many times I have found myself waking up in the night but instead of fear filling my mind, I found myself singing a familiar hymn or chorus, it is as if the Lord is keeping fear from me in the watches of the night by bringing to mind songs that talk of His loving presence. I don’t remember them all but I do remember one of them was Great is Thy Faithfulness. It doesn’t last long and I drift back to sleep. Isn’t that just the neatest thing? You will all be relieved to know that I am not singing out loud or poor Kent would be having nightmares, the song just plays in my head. Sometimes I don’t even know all the words and I just mentally hum. My God is such an awesome God, and He never fails to amaze me in how He is constantly revealing Himself to me and then affirming that it is indeed from Him by placing what is happening to me in His word. What a tremendous joy that brings to me.
Keep praying for Kent and me. We love you all and cannot express what your support has meant to us during this time. Janice
Our crutch
04/09/2010
My friend, Judy, is facing surgery in two days; cancer surgery. Janice and I are in a coasting mode right now. She’s done all her tests and we’re just waiting for the surgery date, March 23. Life will become a bit more intense as that day approaches, just as it is for Judy today. But the closer the day, the more intensity felt, the greater the presence of the Lord in our lives. I’m reminded of that poem about the footsteps in the sand. A man looks over his life at the end and sees two sets of footprints in the sands of his life. But in some places he sees only one set of prints. He asks the Lord why He was not with him at these points of his life. The answer, “My son, those are the very difficult times in your life when I had to carry you. The one set of prints are Mine.” I have had people say that faith in Christ, or any religion for that matter, is a crutch for the weak. So be it. Not only is it a crutch, but a souped up, high flying, jet propelled wheel chair that will carry us right through the fires of life and skim across the rapidly rising tsunamis that threaten to sweep us away. Those who believe they can overcome on their own will be overwhelmed. Why would we even want to try? My neighbor is a big, tough, just retired sergeant California Corrections Officer. He is a macho, hard driving guy who just fulfilled his lifelong dream of opening a bar-b-q restaurant. But right now he’s laying flat on his back in the hospital with something that has taken his strength and is ravishing his body, and as yet, can’t be identified. Life changes, and when it does, it’s nice to know that He’ll carry us through it.
“I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” Jn 10:10
“The fool has said in his heart,
There is no God.” Ps 14:1
rks
My friend, Judy, is facing surgery in two days; cancer surgery. Janice and I are in a coasting mode right now. She’s done all her tests and we’re just waiting for the surgery date, March 23. Life will become a bit more intense as that day approaches, just as it is for Judy today. But the closer the day, the more intensity felt, the greater the presence of the Lord in our lives. I’m reminded of that poem about the footsteps in the sand. A man looks over his life at the end and sees two sets of footprints in the sands of his life. But in some places he sees only one set of prints. He asks the Lord why He was not with him at these points of his life. The answer, “My son, those are the very difficult times in your life when I had to carry you. The one set of prints are Mine.” I have had people say that faith in Christ, or any religion for that matter, is a crutch for the weak. So be it. Not only is it a crutch, but a souped up, high flying, jet propelled wheel chair that will carry us right through the fires of life and skim across the rapidly rising tsunamis that threaten to sweep us away. Those who believe they can overcome on their own will be overwhelmed. Why would we even want to try? My neighbor is a big, tough, just retired sergeant California Corrections Officer. He is a macho, hard driving guy who just fulfilled his lifelong dream of opening a bar-b-q restaurant. But right now he’s laying flat on his back in the hospital with something that has taken his strength and is ravishing his body, and as yet, can’t be identified. Life changes, and when it does, it’s nice to know that He’ll carry us through it.
“I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.” Jn 10:10
“The fool has said in his heart,
There is no God.” Ps 14:1
rks
Friday, March 5, 2010
Walking in the Light (mom)
3-4-2010
It has been a few days since I have written to you all, but they have been busy days for me. It has been a series of doctor visits and tests.
Before I get into my world of medicine, I would like to share with you a humbling experience I had on Monday in which the Lord taught me a very important lesson. I have a friend who is down in LA waiting for surgery that can only be done there. She went over two months ago thinking the surgery was to be done the next day. When she arrived they found they needed to clear up some infections so they put her on a heavy duty round of antibiotics after which they decided they needed to get her body built back up. As a result they put her in a convalescing home until she was strong enough for surgery. Monday, another gal and I went down to see her. I put on my best Jesus cap thinking I would go minister to this friend and in doing so, please my God. When we got there, we discovered she was not in a pleasant place and she was feeling a little lost. We went out to a patio area to visit and she poured out her heart about what was going on in her life, the frustration, the feeling of not being able to study the Word as she wanted, all the things that we go through when we are sick. As she cried and talked to us, she would suddenly regain her composure and smile and say, “Oh yeah, I want you to meet my friend. She just wandered into my room one day and last night I was able to lead her to the Lord.” Then she would talk again about her lack of devotion to her Lord. Suddenly, she would remember another friend we must meet, a young girl with cerebral palsy who couldn’t move or speak but had a good mind. She had been going in to her and reading Scripture. I tell you this because God showed me someone who was really doing His work in the worst of conditions, and who was I to think I could minister to her. She was such a blessing to me. Here I am surrounded by family and friends and I am not doing the Lord’s work with the same intensity as she is doing. I was very humbled, and yes, God used our visit to minister to her that day, but it was much more of a ministry to me.
Yesterday I had my heart test and of course it made me sick, but my Monday visit kept my mind on the important things – like praising the Lord in all circumstances. I went to the surgeon today and we are scheduled for March 23rd. We did not get the surgeon we thought we were going to, but this man’s name kept coming up as we went to doctors and we knew it was God’s will when the surgeon we had selected recommended him.
As we wait for the surgery and all it entails I will cling to Colossians 4:2 “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Psalm 59:15-16 reminds me that “Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of presence, O Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness.”
It has been a few days since I have written to you all, but they have been busy days for me. It has been a series of doctor visits and tests.
Before I get into my world of medicine, I would like to share with you a humbling experience I had on Monday in which the Lord taught me a very important lesson. I have a friend who is down in LA waiting for surgery that can only be done there. She went over two months ago thinking the surgery was to be done the next day. When she arrived they found they needed to clear up some infections so they put her on a heavy duty round of antibiotics after which they decided they needed to get her body built back up. As a result they put her in a convalescing home until she was strong enough for surgery. Monday, another gal and I went down to see her. I put on my best Jesus cap thinking I would go minister to this friend and in doing so, please my God. When we got there, we discovered she was not in a pleasant place and she was feeling a little lost. We went out to a patio area to visit and she poured out her heart about what was going on in her life, the frustration, the feeling of not being able to study the Word as she wanted, all the things that we go through when we are sick. As she cried and talked to us, she would suddenly regain her composure and smile and say, “Oh yeah, I want you to meet my friend. She just wandered into my room one day and last night I was able to lead her to the Lord.” Then she would talk again about her lack of devotion to her Lord. Suddenly, she would remember another friend we must meet, a young girl with cerebral palsy who couldn’t move or speak but had a good mind. She had been going in to her and reading Scripture. I tell you this because God showed me someone who was really doing His work in the worst of conditions, and who was I to think I could minister to her. She was such a blessing to me. Here I am surrounded by family and friends and I am not doing the Lord’s work with the same intensity as she is doing. I was very humbled, and yes, God used our visit to minister to her that day, but it was much more of a ministry to me.
Yesterday I had my heart test and of course it made me sick, but my Monday visit kept my mind on the important things – like praising the Lord in all circumstances. I went to the surgeon today and we are scheduled for March 23rd. We did not get the surgeon we thought we were going to, but this man’s name kept coming up as we went to doctors and we knew it was God’s will when the surgeon we had selected recommended him.
As we wait for the surgery and all it entails I will cling to Colossians 4:2 “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” Psalm 59:15-16 reminds me that “Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of presence, O Lord. They rejoice in your name all day long; they exult in your righteousness.”
Joy Comes in the Morning (Dad)
03/04/2010
Today I talked to an old friend from my hard storming oilfield days. Bob and I have been close for years and I used to stay with him and RaeDale when I went to Denver on business. They are concerned for Janice and wished to stay in touch. We have similarly heard from many old friends. Bob asked me if I had called Carlos, our old boss in North Dakota., as I had promised I would. I had not. I didn’t intentionally fail to call Carlos, it’s just that I’ve had a lot going and I totally spaced it. I promised Bob I would call Carlos, knowing I needed to do that. You see, Carlos was diagnosed with colon cancer. Whereas Janice’s news has been good after the original diagnosis, Carlos’ has not. His cancer had spread to the liver and his blood markers were high. I did call Carlos, and I’m glad I did. It was good for him and it was good for me. In fact, he had good news that his cancer seemed to be responding well to chemo and there was a lot of hope going forward.
I say all this because it highlights something that has occurred to me lately. Cancer is intensely personal. People are so great in their caring and their prayers, cards and calls. But at the end of the day, they have their families and lives and life goes on …… as it should. When you lay your head on the pillow at night, that’s when those old enemies try to stick their heads out. They say, “What if? … Maybe it won’t…. It could be, etc.” Then you are left alone with yourself and your God. Is it enough? In our case it has been more than sufficient, and for that we are thankful. For Janice and me, we have each other. That is an added blessing and a tremendous support at the end of the day. But so many of our friends who are going through this, and worse, don’t have that person lying next to them at when the sun goes down. It is for them that I pray Christ will make Himself especially known. He is able.
“Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.” Ps 30:5b
One way or another, the morning will come.
rks
Today I talked to an old friend from my hard storming oilfield days. Bob and I have been close for years and I used to stay with him and RaeDale when I went to Denver on business. They are concerned for Janice and wished to stay in touch. We have similarly heard from many old friends. Bob asked me if I had called Carlos, our old boss in North Dakota., as I had promised I would. I had not. I didn’t intentionally fail to call Carlos, it’s just that I’ve had a lot going and I totally spaced it. I promised Bob I would call Carlos, knowing I needed to do that. You see, Carlos was diagnosed with colon cancer. Whereas Janice’s news has been good after the original diagnosis, Carlos’ has not. His cancer had spread to the liver and his blood markers were high. I did call Carlos, and I’m glad I did. It was good for him and it was good for me. In fact, he had good news that his cancer seemed to be responding well to chemo and there was a lot of hope going forward.
I say all this because it highlights something that has occurred to me lately. Cancer is intensely personal. People are so great in their caring and their prayers, cards and calls. But at the end of the day, they have their families and lives and life goes on …… as it should. When you lay your head on the pillow at night, that’s when those old enemies try to stick their heads out. They say, “What if? … Maybe it won’t…. It could be, etc.” Then you are left alone with yourself and your God. Is it enough? In our case it has been more than sufficient, and for that we are thankful. For Janice and me, we have each other. That is an added blessing and a tremendous support at the end of the day. But so many of our friends who are going through this, and worse, don’t have that person lying next to them at when the sun goes down. It is for them that I pray Christ will make Himself especially known. He is able.
“Weeping may endure for a night,
But joy comes in the morning.” Ps 30:5b
One way or another, the morning will come.
rks
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