A Prayer --- Dad

Lord, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done; and Janice says four way by-pass surgery was a piece of cake in comparison. How do men survive watching their wives die of cancer? Janice will get through it eventually and I truly believe she will know full recovery. But I never expected her to be so sick and weak with every side effect written in the book. I never expected to have to carry a lump around in my throat every day as I watch her in so much misery. Why is it so bad for her when many going through the same chemo regimen seem to be cruising through with few problems? The enemy is using every opportunity he can to convince us to give up. But, “…greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.” (1 Jn 4:4). The key to victory in the battle has to be in getting back to the basic of all life …. Jesus Christ.

This week, an unusually bad one, I have often remembered and tried to meditate upon the first verse I was given the day of her diagnosis. I don’t like to remember that day, but I do like to remember that promise.

Isa. 43:1b-3
“Fear not for I have redeemed you…” Life is eternal, and for those who are willing to accept that gift and yield to the Giver, it’s already paid for. No matter how difficult this is, it will end. My new chemo friend, Shauna, mother of three, whose wimp of a husband left her because of her cancer, which has now spread throughout her body, has a motto. She says, I win; either way, I win.” I’m not quite there yet, but I would like to be.
“I have called you by your name; You are Mine.” Wow! That is awesome! The Creator of the universe calls me Kent, and says I belong to Him. “…He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world…” (Eph 1:4a) That is mind boggling, but a God who spoke the universe into being doesn’t seem to have much trouble understanding it.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned. Nor shall the flame scorch you.” The river has been deep and the fire pretty hot this week, but we are not alone. Nothing touches us that doesn’t pass through God’s hands first. The Lord has made His presence known in so many people who have told us they’re praying; in my girls who seem to have a knack of showing up or phoning just at the right time; in the friends who either spend time with us or offer to do so; in the nurses at CBCC who go to so much effort to try to make Janice feel better; and even in my little squirt of a dog whose laying on my lap with unconditional love as I write this. (Although I really don’t need another lick in the face).
“For I am the Lord your God, The Holy one of Israel, your Savior.” When I realize that I’m not as tough as I thought I was; when I realize just how uncontrollable life is, I am extremely grateful that Janice and I and our whole family are in the hands of the One who controls it all. That doesn’t particularly make her feel better, but it helps to put things into perspective. He truly is, “…the way, the truth and the life.” (Jn 14:4) As Shauna says, eventually, “We win!”.

As the Psalmist and song writer, Horatio Spafford ( http://www.faithclipart.com/guide/Christian-Music/hymns-the-songs-and-the-stories/it-is-well-with-my-soul-the-song-and-the-story.html ) have said, “It is well with my soul.” ….. in spite of the battle of the body.

rks

Quick Update 06/20/2010

I thought I'd better give a quick update for those of you who keep up with us through the blog. Janice keeps telling me she plans to write, but she just never feels well enough to do so. We finished our fourth chemo series last week and it's taking it's tole. We have tried all the remedies given to us, but have just had to settle in for a long battle. There seems to be a pattern of symptems that she goes through for several days after the treatments and the nausea just never goes away. The White Blood Cell (WBC) count goes down every treatment, which means she has to go through a series of Leukine shots which have pretty nasty side effects of their own. It is discouraging to say the least and we keep praying it'll get better, but we just keep living one day at a time and look forward to that last treatment in October.
Having said all that, I have to confess that God is teaching us a lot. We are meeting so many people at CBCC and He is teaching us something through each one of them. Many are going through more than we with little hope of recovery. Our prayer list grows longer everyday. Janice does have a blog composed in her mind, and one of these days she'll be feeling well enough to write it. So, don't give up on us. two more treatments and we're half way through. Every day is a day closer. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt 6:34)
rks

God & Kathy Jo 06/01/2010 Mom

I figured I had better give you all an update after my last blog. I was not feeling too well then, but the Lord has again shown His grace.

Kent and I went Tuesday the 25th for my WBC shot and what we thought would be a consult with the doctor. I can not remember ever feeling like I felt that morning when we entered the clinic. It turns out the doctor was busy, but the Lord sent us an angel by the name of Kathy Jo that was better than any doctor. She is a PA who knows what is happening in the real world of chemo. She immediately took us into her office and sat us down. She asked what exactly was going on and Kent told her I had every side effect know to chemo. She turned to me and said, “OK, let’s start at the beginning – tell me about the constipation. Now here sits a woman who, if you know me well, cries only in extreme circumstances. I opened my mouth to speak and found no words, just tears streaming down my face, as I desperately tried to regain some sense of composure. Finally, all I could do is point at Kent. This man sat and explained all the ins and outs of his wife’s inner workings. Now this is true love in action. Kathy wrote everything down, disappeared for a while, and came back with the doctor’s approval for her plan of action. Within minutes I found myself in a chair, saline solution being fed into my body, a blanket fresh from the warmer over my body, my prayer quilt over that, Kent’s I Pod in my ears, and I went blissfully to sleep. I went in for hydration for two days and immediately I began to feel better. I was scheduled for a series of 9 shots to bring my blood count up but the Lord had a better plan. After just two injections, my white count went from a 2.7 to 7.0. How is that for a mighty God?
I am doing much better. Went to church on Sunday and even spent the evening in the park for a church picnic. I go back for my regular treatment tomorrow and they will be followed by two days of hydration.
The verse that explains the peace and assurance I feel is Zephaniah 3:17 “the Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save, He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” This is how I feel about Him and His care for me. Keep praying and I will keep holding onto Him for my strength. Janice