April 6th, 2010
It is two weeks since my surgery and I feel a little stronger every day. I was able to go to church Easter morning and it was so good to be in the house of the Lord. It is a reminder that my God conquered not just my sin, but death and that no matter what may happen to me, I will be with Him in eternity.
We are still in a holding pattern waiting for the oncologist to get back to us. He has been in the Philippians on a Mission trip so that is good.
I’ve had lots of time to sit and think as my body heals and regains its strength. I am constantly amazed at the complete peace that my Lord continues to surround me with every day and every moment. I know there are those out there who put their trust in the power of positive thinking – pulling yourself up by the boot straps – etc., but I can’t help but wonder how they do during those dark moments in the middle of the night when they are completely alone with nothing but their own thoughts. How do they deal with the doubts, the what ifs, the fears that are just a natural part of the human experience? I know that if I could not place myself in His arms as I am reminded that “He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing” Zephaniah 3:17 I would not want to face the morning. It is in the dead of night that I can hear Him singing over me causing me to rest in complete peace. His song will chase away any fear or anxiety I may feel. Psalm 63:6-8 tells me “On my bed I remember You, I think of You through the watches of the night. Because You are my help, I sing in the shadows of Your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” To actually experience His great love for me, as I do today, makes me thankful that He has given me this time to fully understand His great love for me. When I was well I loved Him, but it was in my sickness that I truly have felt His presence and His great love for me. Would I want anyone else to go through what I am going through– no – but I will tell you that when you go through it with the Lord holding you by His right hand there is no greater blessing. So in many ways I feel as though I am one of the lucky ones who is being given the blessing of truly abiding with Him. Beth Moore makes a statement in her devotional that I like, “If nothing frightening ever happened, how could the assurance of God’s constant presence be the quieter of our fears?” As Psalm 119 says, “It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees.”
Love to you all
Janice
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I'm back (mom)
March 31, 2010
I am back – well almost back. After 5 days in the hospital they sprung me to the care of Kent and Debra and so far they are doing a great job. As you all know, the surgery was successful. The results may not have been all that we wanted, but we know that we are still secure in His arms. I need to remind myself of my verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
My hospital stay was not the most pleasant time of my life. The doctor told me I would have a lot of pain and needless to say he did not lie. The first day after the surgery I spent throwing up as people told me I had to walk. It is most difficult to walk and barf all at once. Thursday, my mild mannered husband decided to take matters in own hands and set me a walking schedule. As I lay in my bed of pain, he lined me and my daughters out on how often and how long I would get up and walk. As I laid in bed looking at him, I could not help but think that even in my weakened state I still outweighed him by more than a few pounds and that with the right motivation I could take him out. But I didn’t. I walked down the hall, holding my barf bag in one hand and my walker in the other. In all seriousness, I can’t imagine not having a husband and daughters willing to spend day and night with you when you are sick.
I am healing. Had my stitches out which was a relief. I think the doctor who invented stables was a little cruel. Through it all my God has continued to sustain me on all sides. My final thought before I go to bed is from Psalm 37:23-24 “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He makes his steps firm, though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord up holds him with His hand.
Thank you for all the cards, prayers, and love you have showered on us during this time.
Janice
I am back – well almost back. After 5 days in the hospital they sprung me to the care of Kent and Debra and so far they are doing a great job. As you all know, the surgery was successful. The results may not have been all that we wanted, but we know that we are still secure in His arms. I need to remind myself of my verse from 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
My hospital stay was not the most pleasant time of my life. The doctor told me I would have a lot of pain and needless to say he did not lie. The first day after the surgery I spent throwing up as people told me I had to walk. It is most difficult to walk and barf all at once. Thursday, my mild mannered husband decided to take matters in own hands and set me a walking schedule. As I lay in my bed of pain, he lined me and my daughters out on how often and how long I would get up and walk. As I laid in bed looking at him, I could not help but think that even in my weakened state I still outweighed him by more than a few pounds and that with the right motivation I could take him out. But I didn’t. I walked down the hall, holding my barf bag in one hand and my walker in the other. In all seriousness, I can’t imagine not having a husband and daughters willing to spend day and night with you when you are sick.
I am healing. Had my stitches out which was a relief. I think the doctor who invented stables was a little cruel. Through it all my God has continued to sustain me on all sides. My final thought before I go to bed is from Psalm 37:23-24 “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, He makes his steps firm, though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord up holds him with His hand.
Thank you for all the cards, prayers, and love you have showered on us during this time.
Janice
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
God's will
I had wanted to sit and write earlier this past week, but was just not able to. It has been a long week of watching my mom deal with the pain, both physical and emotional, of surgery. While in the midst of that I have seen God continue to prove himself faithful over and over again. Let me just share the ways that God has answered prayers:
1. We prayed for less pain and within 24 hours her pain level went from an 8 to a 2.
2. We prayed for a headache and nausea to go away and within 24 hours she was no longer throwing up and was able to get up and walk.
3. We prayed that she would be able to come home sooner than originally planned and she was home on Sunday.
4. We prayed that the Lord would be glorified throughout this process. He continues to get the praise and glory for the work He is doing in the lives of our family.
5. While the results were not what we were hoping for, God, in his mercy, has contained the cancer and the prognosis looks good.
There are so many other small and big prayers that have been answered and I know there are more to come.
I was reminded again of the verse that I have made my verses for this year and one that hangs on the cupboard in my parents kitchen. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" It has given me so much hope and comfort. I am joyful amid the trial because I am in the presence of Christ. I pray continually that the Lord will not only heal my mom, but that He will be glorified in this. I give thanks in the circumstance because I have learned again and again during this that I have a God that I can turn to. God's will is not that my life or the life of my family is perfect and that we won't suffer, but that we do those three things. He continues to walk us through this and for that I am thankful.
I was reminded after mom received the results of the biopsies that God has answered our prayers up to this point and because of that we can be assured that He will continue to answer our prayers. Praise God for that!
Thank you for all the prayers and support during this. We have been truly blessed by the body of Christ!
1. We prayed for less pain and within 24 hours her pain level went from an 8 to a 2.
2. We prayed for a headache and nausea to go away and within 24 hours she was no longer throwing up and was able to get up and walk.
3. We prayed that she would be able to come home sooner than originally planned and she was home on Sunday.
4. We prayed that the Lord would be glorified throughout this process. He continues to get the praise and glory for the work He is doing in the lives of our family.
5. While the results were not what we were hoping for, God, in his mercy, has contained the cancer and the prognosis looks good.
There are so many other small and big prayers that have been answered and I know there are more to come.
I was reminded again of the verse that I have made my verses for this year and one that hangs on the cupboard in my parents kitchen. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" It has given me so much hope and comfort. I am joyful amid the trial because I am in the presence of Christ. I pray continually that the Lord will not only heal my mom, but that He will be glorified in this. I give thanks in the circumstance because I have learned again and again during this that I have a God that I can turn to. God's will is not that my life or the life of my family is perfect and that we won't suffer, but that we do those three things. He continues to walk us through this and for that I am thankful.
I was reminded after mom received the results of the biopsies that God has answered our prayers up to this point and because of that we can be assured that He will continue to answer our prayers. Praise God for that!
Thank you for all the prayers and support during this. We have been truly blessed by the body of Christ!
Monday, March 29, 2010
The Battle 03/29/2010 (Dad)
For those of you who have been checking the blog for an update on Janice’s condition, I apologize. None of us has felt much like writing for the past week and it’s been rather busy. Here’s the update. First, the praise is that she came home yesterday and is in the healing process. The news from the biopsy was not as good as we had hoped, but not as bad as it could have been. The tumor had penetrated the third layer and of the 28 lymph nodes taken, eighteen showed cancer cells; 10 did not. It will be necessary for her to start chemo as soon as she’s healed enough from surgery. And so our initial reaction was, “darn!" That’s because the Enemy saw another opening and dove in. He attacks with fear and tries to set up camp with discouragement. “He (that’s us) will not be afraid of evil tidings (bad news in TLB version); His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” (Ps 112:7) That’s the only defense I know. But all the above is the negative aspect and the positive is much more powerful. The surgeon believes he got everything. The 10 clean lymph nodes indicate the cancer had not spread beyond that area, and the surgeon, who was formerly an oncologist, believes the chemo will take care of it for good. In addition, the chemo is not the kind that makes you lose hair and become severely nauseated. So, we continue to feel that we are blessed and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. However, in the dark of the tunnel, I’m finding it difficult to watch Janice deal with the pain and sickness of the aftermath of surgery. I’m not feeling very philosophical or theological. I just want her to be well. I wish my faith was greater. Thanks again for all your prayers and concern. We feel you there even in the midst of the struggle, and we realize many of you have gone before us in this battle. In the midst of the waters, He truly is going with us and they are not overflowing us. (Isa 43:2)
rks
rks
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Surgery day (dad)
THE DAY 03/23/2010
I hate it! I’m sitting in the hospital room with Janice right now and she is in pain; she says greater than she can remember. This is the girl who has birthed three children and gone through open heart surgery. I hate sitting here watching my fun loving, jokester wife, whose laugh has often disturbed crowds, suffer so greatly. Why can’t I do something? Why can’t it be me instead of her? I have a new respect for guys who have had to watch their wives pain for long periods of time, especially knowing it would not end well. Staney Faulkner, you are one of my heroes, and I pray God will show you grace you have never imagined. Janice will get better and that infectious laugh will rock the room again.
The surgery went well and we’re on the healing side now. Once again we have a lot to be thankful for. God is good; all the time; no matter what. I feel badly for those who don’t know that. I was just reading in Mark 5, about Jairus, who came to Jesus because his daughter was mortally sick. As they went to Jairus’ house, some of his friends came and told him that his daughter had died and he shouldn’t trouble the Teacher anymore. Jesus told Jairus not to be afraid, only believe, and that the child was not dead, but sleeping. And the people ridiculed Him. After all, they did know a dead person when they saw one, and this fanatic is way out of line. So, Jesus kicked them all out and told the girl to get up, which, of course she did. I would not want to miss the benefits of the God of Heaven and Earth just because I believe we live in a closed system and that He is not who He says He is and cannot do what He says He’ll do. He has brought us thus far and He’ll take us the distance.
Meanwhile, as I sit here, Janice’s blood pressure is falling and the nurse says she may have to take her off the morphine for awhile. I still hate it! But the Lord has it under control and I guess I’d better quit trying to micro-manage everything He’s doing here.
“… we do not look at the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Cor 4:18
PS Update: All that was written right after the surgery. Since then the pain has become more manageable, the blood pressure stabilized without removing the morphine, and she’s been able to sleep off and on. PTL
rks
I hate it! I’m sitting in the hospital room with Janice right now and she is in pain; she says greater than she can remember. This is the girl who has birthed three children and gone through open heart surgery. I hate sitting here watching my fun loving, jokester wife, whose laugh has often disturbed crowds, suffer so greatly. Why can’t I do something? Why can’t it be me instead of her? I have a new respect for guys who have had to watch their wives pain for long periods of time, especially knowing it would not end well. Staney Faulkner, you are one of my heroes, and I pray God will show you grace you have never imagined. Janice will get better and that infectious laugh will rock the room again.
The surgery went well and we’re on the healing side now. Once again we have a lot to be thankful for. God is good; all the time; no matter what. I feel badly for those who don’t know that. I was just reading in Mark 5, about Jairus, who came to Jesus because his daughter was mortally sick. As they went to Jairus’ house, some of his friends came and told him that his daughter had died and he shouldn’t trouble the Teacher anymore. Jesus told Jairus not to be afraid, only believe, and that the child was not dead, but sleeping. And the people ridiculed Him. After all, they did know a dead person when they saw one, and this fanatic is way out of line. So, Jesus kicked them all out and told the girl to get up, which, of course she did. I would not want to miss the benefits of the God of Heaven and Earth just because I believe we live in a closed system and that He is not who He says He is and cannot do what He says He’ll do. He has brought us thus far and He’ll take us the distance.
Meanwhile, as I sit here, Janice’s blood pressure is falling and the nurse says she may have to take her off the morphine for awhile. I still hate it! But the Lord has it under control and I guess I’d better quit trying to micro-manage everything He’s doing here.
“… we do not look at the things which are seen, but the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Cor 4:18
PS Update: All that was written right after the surgery. Since then the pain has become more manageable, the blood pressure stabilized without removing the morphine, and she’s been able to sleep off and on. PTL
rks
Monday, March 22, 2010
Surgery
Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 5:30. God in his mercy has continued to provide peace amid the uncertainty. I am constantly amazed each time I talk to my parents and hear the joy they continue to have in the Lord in the midst of cancer. Yesterday in church we had the opportunity to stand up and share with the congregation something that we are praising the Lord for in our lives. I sat there for quite awhile and fought with God about getting up and sharing, thinking I should leave it to others, but He had other plans. I thought that people are going to think I am crazy when I stand up and say that I am praising the Lord for my mom's cancer. I think a few may have thought was crazy, but I really am thanking Him for this. I have seen a peace that passes all understanding through this. I have felt his presence with our family every step of the way. I have heard of so many around the world praying for her healing. That is something to praise God for. It is through this trial that I have seen the faith of my parents increased and my complete dependence on God for my mom's health. That would not happen if times were good. We tend to leave God out when things are going our way and we think we have the world by the horns. Praise God that He does not leave us there, that he loves us enough to draw us nearer to him through trials.
I had a friend text me yesterday saying that she had a dream about my family sitting in a beach house celebrating my mom's clean bill of health. She said the dream was so vivid that she could remember every detail. I know that I serve a God that is the ultimate physician and I am thankful that He will be guiding the hands of the surgeons tomorrow. I guess because I serve a mighty God I had better start looking for that beach house to rent to celebrate a cancer free mom!
Thank you for your prayers. I will post tomorrow night and let you all know how the surgery went.
I had a friend text me yesterday saying that she had a dream about my family sitting in a beach house celebrating my mom's clean bill of health. She said the dream was so vivid that she could remember every detail. I know that I serve a God that is the ultimate physician and I am thankful that He will be guiding the hands of the surgeons tomorrow. I guess because I serve a mighty God I had better start looking for that beach house to rent to celebrate a cancer free mom!
Thank you for your prayers. I will post tomorrow night and let you all know how the surgery went.
It's Time (mom)
March 21, 2009
The wait is almost over which is a praise. It has not been all bad because the two or so weeks has given me time to spend in the Word, to talk to friends, to encourage those around me, and to experience the complete love of all the people around me. I believe even God may want this wait to be over so that Heaven will become a little less noisy due to all the prayers of friends and family. I ask one more prayer for tomorrow as I go to the hospital at 5:30 am. I really don’t feel fearful but am a little anxious to have it all done. I have placed the hands of my surgeon in the hands of my God so I am in the best hands ever.
Yesterday was a day of eating Jell-O and chicken broth followed by today’s diet of Jell-O and chicken broth. The only difference was today I got to drink a gallon of stuff that is so terrible that I think it is done so you don’t feel so bad about the surgery. At least they let you sleep during the surgery.
Again, thank you all for your faithful support and prayers. The Lord has continued to keep me wrapped in His arms. If anyone sees anything like strength in me they are looking at the wrong person. I give all the glory to my Lord – without His presence I would be like that bowl of Jell-O. My readings today took me to Isaiah 12:2-3 “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” It never ceases to amaze me how He can give me the exact scripture I need at any give time.
I will write you all when I get home from the hospital unless I can write and have Kent type it for me. Love you all.
Janice
The wait is almost over which is a praise. It has not been all bad because the two or so weeks has given me time to spend in the Word, to talk to friends, to encourage those around me, and to experience the complete love of all the people around me. I believe even God may want this wait to be over so that Heaven will become a little less noisy due to all the prayers of friends and family. I ask one more prayer for tomorrow as I go to the hospital at 5:30 am. I really don’t feel fearful but am a little anxious to have it all done. I have placed the hands of my surgeon in the hands of my God so I am in the best hands ever.
Yesterday was a day of eating Jell-O and chicken broth followed by today’s diet of Jell-O and chicken broth. The only difference was today I got to drink a gallon of stuff that is so terrible that I think it is done so you don’t feel so bad about the surgery. At least they let you sleep during the surgery.
Again, thank you all for your faithful support and prayers. The Lord has continued to keep me wrapped in His arms. If anyone sees anything like strength in me they are looking at the wrong person. I give all the glory to my Lord – without His presence I would be like that bowl of Jell-O. My readings today took me to Isaiah 12:2-3 “Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.” It never ceases to amaze me how He can give me the exact scripture I need at any give time.
I will write you all when I get home from the hospital unless I can write and have Kent type it for me. Love you all.
Janice
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