THREE MONTHS

Another friend at church, Chuck, lost his wife Minnetta, suddenly this weekend. That’s three of us in as many months. I know that Chuck is hurting right now. It’s Halloween, and exactly three months since Janice died. Seems fitting. She hated Halloween. It’s represents everything she was not. Three months is such a short time, yet it seems that she has been gone such a long time. The question that I get continually is, “How are you doing?” The answer most want to hear is that I’m doing fine, and mostly I am. The physical pain (that Chuck is now feeling) left awhile ago and the new normal is becoming more familiar. I have waded through most of the legal things that needed to be dealt with, paid all the funeral expenses, and took a great trip to Texas. Debra and I have spent a lot of time together working through the process, and I hear often from Kristi and Lisa. It actually hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it might be. And then …… then a wave will hit me out of the blue, taking me by surprise and almost knocking me to my knees. It is not even precipitated by anything identifiable; not like the “trigger” the grief books talk about. I am surrounded by a house saturated with Janice, and I’m okay. It’s often a rogue wave that has no reason and isn’t anticipated. To be sure, there are times that I know will be hard; like visiting Shauna at the cancer center, or presenting Celebrate Recovery memorial Bibles to Janice's last Step group. But other times are unpredictable; driving down the freeway, or walking on the treadmill at the gym, or just sitting somewhere. But they are short lived “…and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding…” (Phil.:7) returns.

One of the verses I heard Janice use so much was 2 Cor 4:8-9; “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed….” I believe that is true of this family. We have been hurt deeply, but we have not been overcome. Debra says that is the covering of prayer from all those who have supported us in so many ways. I believe she is right. We are very thankful for all the people who tell us they are continuing to pray. Please do so; it’s not over yet. We will continue the process and take whatever the Lord brings our way. Without Him there would be no hope. If you know Chuck, give him and his family those same prayers.

Kent