The Holidays 2010

This is a letter sent by Debra to her friends.

Hello All,

As most of you know, these next couple of weeks I am attending a Grief Share Class which is focusing on Surviving the Holidays. I know, as my friends who love and care for me, you can understand what a difficult period this will be for me and my family. In the class they suggested I write a letter to family and friends to express what I’m suffering from and what to expect so you have a clear understanding on how to react to me.
Let me start by explaining what Christmas is going to be for me this year. Mom and I always picked a couple of families every year to buy Christmas for. We always took the mother of this family shopping for her family and also supplied her with a couple of gifts. We have done this together since I can remember. This year Dad has chosen the families, which is great, but I will be taking the family alone. This was always a great day for Mom and me. We had lunch and shopped til we dropped and it was so much fun and filled with a great feeling of blessedness as we blessed others. It hurts my heart that she won’t be with me this year and brings a sense of dread instead of excitement. This truly was Mom’s favorite part of Christmas. She LOVED giving to others. It filled her with such joy. I am so sad that I won’t be experiencing this with her ever again. But, I will honor her and carry on her work; it’s just going to be difficult this year.
If you knew my mother, you knew that she was Mrs. Christmas. She has always had the most beautifully decorated house. Everything on her tree was hand made by her or my grandma. My entire life Mom has made Christmas beautiful for us. Mom’s home became more festive and elegant as the years passed. Even as an adult I felt that was my true home at Christmas and LOVED all she did. This year the house will be empty of Christmas. It is too difficult and painful for Dad to put up Christmas. There will be no tree, no lights, no angels and Santas everywhere. One nativity set will go up and maybe her handmade stockings but that is all. No lights outside and no annoying loud Santa face saying “ho, ho, ho” as we walk through the garage door. This year it is just too hard for Dad and I understand and respect that. For me, it’s like losing Mom all over again. Christmas was such a large piece of her and my memory of her and this year I will be void of most of it.
Which brings me to you all: Please know there are really no words or actions you can do to make this less painful. The loss of Mom still weighs heavy on my heart and the grief is still profoundly painful. For me, it still feels like yesterday that she died. So please keep praying for me and my family. This is going to be a long journey before the healing. However, I truly feel the prayers and the Comfort and Peace only My Savior can give. I need no profound words of Mom being in heaven and singing and rejoicing for Christmas this year. This I know and believe but it still hurts not having her with me here on earth. I need no speeches about faith and time healing all things or she’s in a better place. I simply need your prayers, your patients and your understanding. My help and my hope comes from the Lord. This I know. Please feel free to ask about Mom and how I’m doing. Please feel free to allow me to talk with you about her and PLEASE feel free to celebrate this holiday alongside me. Just know I will have these rolling waves of grief and when I cry it’s ok. A hug and your love is all I need. Thanks for all you love and prayers. God is Good all the time, even in my suffering. My assurance comes knowing I will see Mom again. Thank you for letting me share this now very long note to ya’ll.
Happy Holidays
Love, Debra